10 Cities

Swimming In the Secular Soup

Everyone’s probably heard or read the David Foster Wallace story about the fish…old fish swims by two younger fish…old fish says to the younger fish, “How’s the water this morning?” The two young fish look at each other and say, “What the hell’s water?”

Sometimes we swim in something for so long, we are no longer aware of what it is we’re swimming in anymore. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who wrestles with stuff like this. And, I guess I risk further alienation for saying so. But, I have found a huge difference between my natural take on things and my professed ‘beliefs’. I put beliefs in quotes because my real beliefs are how I look at things without giving it any thought. My ‘beliefs’ are how I am supposed to look at things or how I wish they were, whether I admit it or not. The first is natural and requires no thought at all. The latter is a second or third move, isn’t natural, and requires me to force it over my actual beliefs. If I force them enough, over time, the hope is they would actually become my actual beliefs. And, at 50 years old, that discipline never has worked for me. There’s a huge chasm in between these two things, in some cases.

Since I was old enough to think, I have breathed in the same air you have. I have come to discover how to think in the same ways you have. And, as a result, my view on things isn’t that different than yours. Part of that process has involved coming to understand and accept, without question, some things that may not even be expressly taught. I have been expressly taught that the ultimate goal in life is to be a useful member of society. Useful member is more of a catch phrase. If you asked me to define it, I would probably struggle. And, the words that came out would ultimately be about my being part of some economic order. I am a useful part of a society that exchanges goods and services so that life goes on…the wheels on the bus go round and round. I’ve been politically conservative as well as liberal in my short 50 years of life. But that definition of my purpose hasn’t really budged. I’ve believe that I am either to be someone who uses my gifts, talents and sweat of my brow to produce and provide, building assets to leave my progeny a larger balance sheet than when I arrived (conservative)…or I am to be concerned about making sure everyone’s balance sheets are increased at equitable levels, as an objective of ultimate justice (liberal). Both are ultimately interested in the economic order...because that’s all we can see and all we find of ultimate importance, regardless of what we say we believe. What’s ultimately important? Food to eat. Roof over our head. Reliable transportation. Working cell phones. Sending kids to college. Things like meaning, God, heaven, community are all nice thoughts. We may even preach on these things. But, when the rubber meets the road, they are nice thoughts. Ultimately, it is about survival and getting through the day. That’s very modern. And, by modern, I mean the way things have been viewed for about 500 years. Personally, it’s the way things have been viewed by me since I was old enough to think.

Whether before or after Christianity, my natural thought is that this world is all there really is. The important things are necessarily immanent. As an atheist, there is no supernatural anything. There is only science and outside of science, dangerous conjecture. As a deist, god created everything and let it go. As a Christian, I have believed that heaven is out there in a place beyond the reach of observation…that God is a Being who lives in that place beyond the reach of observation, called heaven. He popped in the natural world here and there and left us with some spiritual lifelines to help in pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. He, also, seemed detached, except when it came to our behavior. Our job is to make sure everyone believes all the right things as he watches our behavior in that process. When we die, we get to go to heaven, if we haven’t messed things up. In the meantime, we fall back on being that same useful member of society within the ultimate goal of an economic order of some kind.

The common denominator in all of these positions in life is the focus on this world swallowing up any other thoughts outside of it. And I credit that as modern thinking. What I mean by modernity, is the belief that this world….this economic order we participate…is all there is or is the only thing we should really bother ourselves with while we wait for heaven.

As an atheist, modern thought entails we are ultimately animals, here by chance, doomed to extinction. There are things like morality, purpose and value, but they are useful fictions for us so that we can make the society comprising the economic order bearable while we wait for the inevitable.  

As a Christian, modern thinking entails we try tack on new beliefs that Jesus died for our sins and if we accept what He did for us on the cross, we will go to heaven when we die…as an overlay to our natural take on reality. These beliefs don’t replace modern thought. They are only sort of like adjunct extensions to it…sort of enhancers. We use this new bit of information to help us be better useful members of the economic order, as we wait for heaven or the second coming. There is a supernatural, god, angels, demons, heaven, hell…they are just located far off and have little to do with this world. We may even believe they do have lots to do with this world. But our actual behavior reflects otherwise. Our behavior reveals that we are immanently focused only on this world as practical reality.

No one dares, whether as a skeptic or a Christian, to honestly admit there is a difference or chasm between what we think we are supposed to believe and what our natural take on reality actually is. That would be social suicide. So, we create the age old hegemony of making sure we protect each other from having to talk about it or wrestle with it by instituting boundaries with punishments and rewards, so that we stay away from this dangerous thinking. But that has left us, whether Christian or skeptic, in a predicament that hasn’t really been that sustainable. We are fragmented people, insulated in an inadequate take that tries to be a good economic citizen and let in a little transcendence and enchantment in controlled doses, as needed….but only in very safe, predictable dosages.

As an atheist/deist, I found this universe haunted. The mind seems mysterious and far more than just a brain. Morals seem to be as much of a hard cold fact as scientific facts. There doesn’t seem to be a way to escape or stand outside of thinking in terms of value or meaning. The more we try, the more we sneak them back in. And, as a good secular economic member of society, this is more than a bit unnerving. It’s just like living in a haunted house. That’s probably why we love horror films so much. It’s sort of a voyeuristic pressure release. But outside of entertainment, I’ll create ways to buffer myself in a bubble that is as uninterrupted by these hauntings or enchantments as much as possible. Because it is impossible for me to completely eradicate these mysteries from my consciousness, I’ll redirect them into the outlet of appreciating art, music, literature. Those are my measured doses of transcendence.

I also look at the material universe and find it very difficult to find a place in it. I seem to stand out as an odd observer without a place to belong. No other type of animal seems to think about these things. No other life form appears to aspire, fear death or search for significance. I’m more of an alien, alone…a wart on the universe, trying to play it as cool as I can, minimizing the schadenfreude as much as possible. That’s why I think comedy is such a salve to our soul. We get to laugh at ourselves through a Will Ferrell movie or someone’s observations in a standup act.

As a Christian, there doesn’t seem to be much of what I have been taught in the church that has much relevance. My sins are forgiven. If I stay true to my faith in Christ, I will go to heaven when I die. All that’s left, in the meantime, is behavior modification and doing it with a saccharin smile. And, although I tend to sway towards the cynical, I have a very strong suspicion that almost all the more visible Christians I see are hopelessly trying to pretend they’ve found a happy place, hiding pain and disappointment behind the smile. Misery loves company. If I was uncomfortable trying to live out my non-theistic beliefs, I’ve just added more baggage onto it with this narrative. There doesn’t seem to be much good about this Good News…and it certainly doesn’t seem like an ‘easy yoke’, no matter how often that verse is recited. Even within the church, the same sort of permutations happen between fundamentalists, evangelicals and progressives. All are hopelessly breathing in and exhaling modern presuppositions about life and either separating themselves from the economic order or diving head first into it as if it, rather than anything transcendent, is the only important thing. Everyone is defining the boundaries and using the same border patrol tools to keep us all comfortable and familiar.

My problem wasn’t so much the content of the beliefs I have tried to embrace as much as the hidden beliefs I didn’t know I had. That hidden belief is my buying into unspoken assumptions about reality that hardly anyone questions…beliefs I have held to without question since I was a child. And, those hidden beliefs are geared to make this world…this economic order…far more important than the transcendent aspects that continue to haunt us as we work very hard to keep ourselves insulated from it. Modern thought is soldered into our brains and sticks with us no matter what external or vestigial belief system we wish to overlay on it. Christianity is not an exception. There are some basic aspects we are taught from the time we are in diapers…this world is all there really is…survival is entirely up to us…what goes on in this world doesn’t point to anything else beyond it…mystery and uncertainty is a disease to be eradicated no matter the cost…never show uncertainty if you have it. I struggled to find a safe harbor to live these presuppositions out in a haunted universe, as a non-Christian. It was a very hard life. But I brought them into my Christian life as well. It wasn’t any easier.

The reason why I say the universe is haunted is because it seems to point beyond itself in order for it to make any sense. And I have an increasingly sneaky suspicion that whatever it points to seems to somehow be in it as well. Heaven and the supernatural isn’t so much a place somewhere else, but the weird and inexplicable parts right here and now. God isn’t living in that place way out beyond observation. The world doesn’t hold itself together on its own. It is sustained by something…or Someone. All of my categories of god, supernatural, are intertwined in this material world, all the while thinking of heaven as somewhere out there and God being way out there in it.  The miraculous isn’t just sudden breaks in natural law but natural law itself. Being is a miracle. The supernatural realm stabs my senses at the birth of a child as well as the death of a child or the love of my wife or the good times with a dear friend. It invades my settled and familiar categories and understandings without permission. My job, as a useful modern citizen, is to ignore or explain away these things away as best I could. At the very least, minimize them as something we can talk about, but only up to a point, before it gets weird. But those bonds of understanding are weakening more and more. When I read the Bible for the first time, it was so radically different from my modern view of reality. And, with few exceptions, I tried to superimpose my modern view on scripture, albeit uncomfortably. I would turn to a modernistic apologetics to help me ease the tension. But it never really addressed the root problem.

One of the strongest fears I have had to overcome in truly understanding reality or, at the very least, how my brain is wired, has come from the outside threat of humiliation and shame.  In skeptic circles, there is no thinking. There is only prescriptive dogma. You question evolution? Shame on you for being so ignorant. You think it is a bit speculative to be certain the universe is 15 billion years old? You think human beings may be more than just material bodies with a brain and nervous system? You believe in supernatural beings, let alone God? You should be socially quarantined and have no influence on anyone, for the sake of society. Just take the old church persecution of anything that contradicted the Magisterium and you have captured the sort of hegemony our secular culture wields today.  Christian circles isn’t that much different. Questioning any point in the Synod of Dort or the Acts 29 church model is frowned upon. The common thread is a fear of being wrong and a bigger fear of people possibly finding that out. So, the task is for everyone to be sufficiently kept in the dark by using fear of shame and humiliation as useful tools for effective border control.

So, is it even possible to know the truth? Is the Gospel true? Is our secular culture correct in all its dogma?  I think so. In fact, I am very comfortable in knowing what the Bible affirms is the best explanation for reality…in fact, it’s the only one. When it comes to some of the huge questions that culture used to ask, no one’s got an alternative outside of Scripture. Am I 100% certain I am right? Nope. In fact, that whole idea of being 100% certain is phooey. I am sure. And, yet, I could be wrong. What I have discovered is that, so could you. That goes for everyone. The ideal situation isn’t to start with some psychological positive-thinking that your beliefs are accurate and then work backwards from there. The ideal situation is to risk everything to find out what’s true and what’s probably not…and adjust accordingly. It is a risk because you don’t know where it could lead. Where it will most likely lead you, as it has lead me, is the fact that I am not the Messiah…and I am not in control of anything. I can have an impact on others. But there is so much mystery between me being a real agent in this world and having no control over outcomes, appearances or circumstances. It has forced me to accept that embracing mystery is actually refreshing. The idiotic Cartesian Anxiety of requiring certainty is replaced with a part common sense, a part reasonableness and lots of wonder.

I have peace in so many areas that I never thought I would have. And they are all due to my faith and walk with Jesus Christ. He alone has opened my eyes and thoughts to not only what’s real out there in the world, but also what’s real inside of me. He has shown me specifics of how many of those natural beliefs that I accept without thinking are actually wrong…as well as some of the other ‘beliefs’ I have adopted even as a Christian. He’s shown me how much of the chosen ‘beliefs’ I accepted were done out of a reaction against someone who harmed me. I wanted no part of whatever they believed and associated those beliefs with them. In other words, I chose beliefs as a reaction, out of a motivation of vengeance. Them being true or not had little to do with it. Then there are also those ‘beliefs’ I chose because they could be exploited to benefit me. In other words, I could exploit my situation, relationships, in order to get what I wanted, whatever that was. Again, it had little or nothing to do with whether those ‘beliefs’ were accurate or not.

In other words, Jesus has not only made Himself real to me, He’s taught me (and continues to do so) about myself as a way to help me better understand others and the world around me. One of those lessons is that I really haven’t been that interested in reality. I have only been interested in bending it to meet my insatiable demands. I’m not just talking about before I became a Christian. I am talking about after as well. He is showing me those basic assumptions I have carried with me, without questioning. And, as a result, those basic natural understandings or natural take on things have been severely challenged. The concept that this world is all there really is, regardless of what I wish to be the case, has far less power than it used to. The idea that mystery is always a bad thing is also weakened. I realize I am very small and finite. I don’t need to understand anything. In fact, mystery tends to make room for wonder, which is something that dies inside you when you reach middle school (or earlier). The idea that the point of my life is to be a useful citizen and contribute to the economic order is actually somewhat Satanic. It’s Satanic because it requires that I believe there is no one there to help me in life but myself. “If it’s to be, it is up to me.” I have to believe I am ultimately alone with only whatever good fortune I have to build up my balance sheet. That’s the essence of what went down in Genesis 3. Those are lies. God is there. He isn’t silent. And He loves you more than you could even love your own children. And if you let Him in to your life, He isn’t ever going to leave you or forsake you, even if you can’t understand what’s going on.

Although unlearning basic things and relearning truths to replace them isn’t a comfortable thing, I wouldn’t ever go back to how I understood things before. I am not afraid of truth, wherever it takes me, because I trust in what I could never observe with my own eyes. I trust He is the truth and it always leads to Him…and He is love, life and light. So far, that is exactly what I have discovered. So, I accept the discomfort of having to relearn knowing it’s the best medicine. I’ve learned it’s okay to be wrong…even wrong about almost everything. Having to always be right is a very lonely place to be.

It goes without saying that when I am in a political conversation with someone who uses the shame and humiliation tactic to push a political narrative on me, I accept that they have nothing else to go on. Without truth, all you are left with is power and the allure (and illusion) of control. But, I also experience this in much of church. It’s different there because the narrative isn’t bullied on others so much (in some cases it is), but that it’s an environment where nobody really believes all that they preach. Nobody is as together or happy as they portray. It’s mostly a show and one in which everyone is an actor, from the worship on down to the greeters. That’s not a universal thing, but it is prevalent. It’s prevalent because even evangelical Christians eat, drink and breathe in the same modernistic stuff that people outside the church eat, drink and breath in. We just ‘tack’ on a Christian narrative to our natural take on reality and hope it all just works itself out. And, when it doesn’t, we can have our world rocked. But our job is to keep that too ourselves. No one is supposed to find out our world is rocked or else we will be considered outside the will of God. I think that’s sort of why churches split, fight or abuse their own people. Everyone is jockeying hard to protect themselves from the potential exposure of being challenged or outside of the familiar and comfortable.

So, even in church, rather than find a tribe of like-minded people, I try to find friends, wherever they may be. They may not think like I do. That’s okay. And, rather than trying to make anything happen or change any minds, I try to be a friend back. And I let the rest take care of itself. What choice do I have? What choice do you have? The mission field is everywhere. The biggest mission field isn’t Africa or India. It’s inside your own mind. Without that being transformed from being conformed to this culture and age, anything you try to believe is ad hoc and forced. People don’t understand things that way. They understand by being open to reality and adjusting to it. That requires our full mind and will. Any other way is forcing a round peg in a square hole. That describes our culture. No one dares to be real. And the more real we attempt, the more contrived we become. That’s because a basic understanding of survival we learn from this world is that no one should be entrusted with who we really are lest we be hurt or even destroyed. Reality television is scripted, planned, exploited, etc. There’s nothing real about it. Social media is a digital mask to hide our past, perversions and pock marks. We get to become another person we like better than the real us we hope no one ever knows. What a sad world we live in. But we do not have to live in it. Yet, it requires faith…believing or trusting in what you cannot see…in order to save us from being cultural zombies. And, based on what we are taught from a very young age, faith like that is almost suicidal. And, so we redefine it to be something more palatable or safe. Truth isn’t safe. But it is good.

I have no idea who will read this or where you may be coming from in this life if you do. What I can tell you is that there is so much I’d like to tell you but feel inadequate to do so. And it seems so petty and naïve but it is true. I found Jesus. He is what He says He is. He’s not just a historical figure that died on a cross and rose from the dead. He’s the One who met me in my pain and has constantly revealed so much to me since that I can’t see how I ever lived before I knew Him. Maybe your marriage is stressed. Maybe it’s broken. Maybe you suffer from the death of a loved one or a loss of a job or the threat of being utterly destroyed by a predator. Can I just leave you with pitiful attempt at advice? Give Jesus a chance. Open up John 14:6 and read it to yourself a few times. Open up Romans 12:1-2 and do the same. I can’t answer your questions or solve your problems. But I was a skeptic. I let my guard down and let Jesus into my life. And, even then, there was so much wrong about me and about my thinking, attitude. I am still a gigantic mess of a human being. But I am so much better off than I was. And it is due to Him.

Call Him my invisible friend all you want. If that helps you make sense of what I am saying about Jesus in light of your basic understanding of reality, fine. I perfectly understand. I was there. But you’re wrong. I was wrong. And, if you’re like me, you are your own worst enemy, despite your best efforts. I am pointing you to Him, not sage advice. He’ll be the One who can do the rest. Take the first step and just simply admit the paths you have taken are confusing, conflated and with unanticipated results (to put it kindly). Just ask Him to come into your life and start helping you in the great mission field of your own mind. I promise you that you will not be disappointed with anything other than not doing this earlier.

“Once again, Jesus spoke to the people and said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.’” – John 8:12

A Good Cause Makes A Great Mask

Let me tell you the story about the guy on Yahoo message boards who butted into the Buddhist community to witness to them about the Gospel. Guess what happened? The Buddhists hated him. He won many arguments and lost a few. Didn’t really make a difference. He didn’t make any friends, let alone convince someone to wonder how to get more of what he had. In fact, no one wanted what he had, regardless of what he was offering. He chalked it up to the persecution Jesus promised His own people should expect from the world. That was part of it. But it was part of it. The other part of it was that he treated the Buddhists in the conversation like he would cockroaches. So, persecution is a convenient biblical explanation for what happened. What the Buddhists on that message board didn’t know (maybe they did), was that the Christian evangelist was struggling with his own faith. Actually, he was struggling to have faith. Sometimes the struggle comes out when you have even convinced yourself there’s no struggle at all.

Now, let me tell you about the new Christian who took it upon himself to correct the pastor about his views about God’s gender. The pastor thought the idea of God having a gender seemed really strange and contrived…sort of like God having a mole. But the new Christian didn’t bother to understand what the pastor was saying. He just knew the topic matched exactly with the one in the apologetic book he was reading. Well, it really wasn’t. The more he tried to make the pastor’s view nicely fit the issue in the book, the more contentious the discussion became. Eventually, the pastor gave up and told the new Christian he held no ill will but didn’t want to converse any more about it. What the pastor probably began to pick up from the new Christian was more about what that young man was struggling with….which really wasn’t the pastor’s position about God’s proposed gender. The young man had his own demons, which reached out and touched the pastor several times during the exchange.

Both of these guys, as you probably have guessed, was me. Now, let me fall back into that mold of managing opinions long enough to qualify that I haven’t decided I’m a liberal Christian or an agnostic, for those overly worried about that. There’s too many other blogs about ‘former’ Christians or former evangelicals that read Kant or Hume…or Rob Bell, and repented of having an objective view of anything. That’s not me. My problem is that once I accepted Christ, I quickly latched on to the virtue of study and fellowship. What I failed to grasp, which was probably the entire point of accepting Christ, is to come to Him with all my mess and let Him help me heal. I wasn’t automatically perfect when I became a follower of Christ. Quite the opposite. I was still riddled with all the problems I had before I became a follower.

But, the environment I was in, particularly in church, really made coming clean with those struggles risky. I can’t say that about all my church experiences. In fact, the first church I ever joined would have been a great place to be transparent and find friends to help walk with me through them. I just wasn’t willing to show them weakness. After all, I felt that God had called me into full time ministry. Dealing with mess wasn’t an option for an ordained man of God. Of course, this reflected one of the problems I carried over into my Christian life…pride, self-deceit, etc. But, I figured if you could tie your excuse to a bible verse, it magically made it pure and without spot.

I had a lot to learn. So, after 20 years of this walk and a half century of hanging around, here’s a bit of what I have learned since then.

 

You can be right in the position you hold but wrong in the disposition in which you hold it.

In other words, if you believe the Bible is inerrant, great. But if you break up a friendship over it, you’ve probably missed a great deal of what all that inerrant stuff is telling you. Disposition is just as important as the position held. In other words, the Bible doesn’t just tell us to subscribe to the monthly Truth magazine and wear the bumper sticker on the family wagon. The Bible tells us that truth is a Person and that Person is calling us to follow Him and be transformed into someone like Him. That doesn’t just cover your easily recalled catachetical points. It also covers the reasons in your heart for recalling them and why. Jesus taught that out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. Many of those things are in the mind and the will before they become an act. Intent is prior to content. Whatever is in our hearts will come out. And, because we’re smart animals, we figure out ways to make it come out as respectable. That’s why causes are so useful.

Usually, causes are held and promoted to draw attention away from your own pain and mess.

When you accept Christ, you get this Holy Spirit that dwells within you. It’s great from the standpoint that you have this life at the core of your existence that wasn’t there before. The not so fun part is having to come to terms with the carry-over mess He wants you to start dealing with or the healing you need to receive from Him. The reason I would champion a cause…the real motivation behind it…was to take attention off of what I considered a hopeless mess. I would literally go looking for a fight (in the proverbial sense). Why? Because I felt studied up enough to convince people who were sorely mistaken? Not really. It was to take attention off of me and put it on to someone else for a change. The cause, itself, wasn’t a bad cause. My motivation behind it was. Keep in mind what Jesus said to the Pharisees in Matthew 23:15, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.” The law wasn’t the issue. It was the motivation of the messenger. That has been me too many times. But I am in great company, especially during a destructive election year like this one. Today’s causes are really no different.

Trying to control people and manage outcomes, particularly over causes, is a part of the sinful nature, even if it’s for a Kingdom concern.

Matthew 5:33-37 deals directly with this. You don’t have control over anyone else. You don’t have control even over making one, single hair on your head white or black. Control is an illusion. In context with the rest of chapter 5, particularly verses before it, managing outcomes and controlling outcomes is the primary causes behind anger, contempt and lust. People aren’t going to think like you. They aren’t going to agree with you about everything. They’re not going to like the Beatles, as nutty as that sounds. Can you deal with it? What I mean is, can you still be friends and agree to disagree? If you can’t, then you’re the problem, not them. I can say that from what I am embarrassed to say is too much experience on the matter.

Our problems aren’t really intellectual. They’re spiritual.

There are spiritual truths, no doubt. But as Paul write in 1 Corinthians that the man or woman without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him/her, and he/she cannot understand them because they are spiritually discerned. For people who have no interest in spiritual things, practically none of this will be of much use. But even for followers of Jesus, this can be like a hangover. Our sinful nature is one of attack and withdraw. We do one or the other as a result of trying to avoid getting hurt or to get what we want. When we get hurt, we learn to adjust to the pain and figure out a way to protect ourselves from that ever happening to us again. And, when the Spirit enters into the picture to walk with us through it, it seems so crazy or irresponsible to eliminate those strategies. What if we get hurt again? When we champion a cause, we conjure up those defense mechanisms from our past hurt. A good argument won’t be of much help. The only thing that helps is love…not the kind of ‘love’ of only hanging around with someone until they change their mind and then moving on once they agree with you. That’s not love. I’m talking about being a friend and walking with them even if they never agree with you…even if it’s what you consider a very important cause. But by walking with them, you earn their respect. And if the issue does come up, it won’t be in a tightly controlled debate environment. It will be over a lunch, or on a long drive, and it will be uncomfortable. But you can have it because you and the other person know there’s a foundation there that can survive it. Truth need not fear evidence and will always be vindicated. You don’t break the truth, you break yourself upon it. Who knows? You may find out your were wrong about some things. God forbid! But without love, truth is off topic. Think about how Jesus dealt with the woman at the well, Zacchaeus, the adulterous woman, etc. He loved them where they were. He didn’t compromise truth. But part of truth was that He loved them as they were, not as they were supposed to be. Learning how to love like Jesus loved is as much a part of this walk as is the catechetical power points.

Our culture isn’t going to be made great or become stronger together from a politician or ideology. Only Jesus and His Kingdom can transform us.

When you take millions like me in my own story, you get a people who are in denial about their own mess and pain, looking for a savior or some cause to take the attention off of them and on to some power politic. And guess what happens if we win? Nothing. We’re still wallowing in the same pain and mess we were beforehand. Except, now, we’re empty because we won and don’t know what to do with ourselves now. Sometimes the emptiest moments in your life are when you achieved that which you thought would deliver the ultimate for you, and it lets you down. That’s the quiet desperation of the winner’s plight. At least if you lose, the battle for the cause continues on, after a good wound-licking. The cycle continues. No one overcomes their demons. No one finds freedom, deliverance or healing of the past hurts. We just stay entrenched in our causes, throw some salt over the shoulder and pick up our trash can lid again. So, regardless of your cause, outside of the Kingdom, it’s probably a mask. Listen to His words:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Sometimes our cause simply isn’t really a good one to champion. Sometimes it is. Either way, our cause with Christ is the most important. If we can’t put down our weapons, distractions and evasions and go to Him with all we have, then how can we ever expect any cause to be of any hope? It’s an easy yoke. The fear not to do this is unfounded. I can also tell you this from experience as well.

Twenty Years Later: Confessions of a Former Skeptic's Conversion

 

That 29 year old kid in the picture, holding that precious baby, is about to get his world rocked. It already has been rocked. But it's about to get rocked far more. He already met the woman of his dreams, got married, became a father and has hopes of bringing this sweet boy home. We will bring him home. But he will have to go  back into the hospital many times. He will eventually die. This kid is also not a Christian. He looks nice. In fact, he is a pretty nice guy. But he's lost. He's months away from giving up this life you see in his eyes, in exchange for whatever Jesus has for him. I can still remember asking Him, "I am yours. What ever you want me to do or wherever you want me to go, I will. Just tell me." My first words as an apprentice of Jesus. That was 20 years ago. There's more to this story and if you want to read it, I wrote my testimony here. But, what I want to do, at the 20 year mark, is sort of describe the anatomy of what this change in my life was like...as much as what it wasn't like.

I didn't accept Christ because I was afraid of hell

Repent, for the Kingdom of God is near! - Matthew 4:17

I wasn't concerned with hell before I became an apprentice of Jesus. I am not concerned about it after. I do not have a "Hey, look what I almost stepped in" sort of testimony. I was broken down to nothing and had no where else to turn. I wanted relief and didn't see anything in sight. When I heard His voice, I surrendered to Him. What I mean by that is I gave up resisting what I have heard most of my life. I put down the walls of resistance to a God I hated because there was evil in the world, because there's hypocrites in the church, because of just about anything else I found wrong in the cosmos. I realized I was blaming Someone I also thought didn't exist. I always knew God existed. I just hated Him. I remember telling my cousins that even if Jesus is Lord, I couldn't associate with any God that would allow people to go to hell or permit so much pain and suffering in the world. Had I not changed, I would have gotten my wish. That's what hell is all about. It's having your way, and all the consequences that go with that. How would a loving God send people to hell? Flip that question. How would a loving God force people who hate Him with a seething passion to spend eternity with Him? When you go to heaven, you'll be with Him. And it will be for eternity. Hard to flip that question when you so desire the outcome to go your way.

Which brings me to my disdain for witnessing to people about Jesus with the threat of hell. This was not my experience. Oh, I believe in hell and also believe, looking back, that could have been my destiny. But it would have been my destiny because I willfully chose it, not because I got torched by an angry Deity. I didn't care about hell before. I am not concerned about hell after. So, hell was not what brought me to the cross. Jesus did. I wanted to know more of Him. It wasn't avoiding cosmic justice, but to get more of the Person I finally decided not to spit on, metaphorically speaking. But, the other reason I am not a fan of the 'turn or burn' gospel is because it is essentially a gospel about selfishly saving your own butt. When I read the Bible, I see our concern about ourselves as part of the problem. We are self-interested animals who tend to take care of ourselves before we do anyone else, with very few exceptions. Then I see Jesus, turning that paradigm inside out. He who is God, didn't think deity as something to covet and decided to take on human flesh, become a nobody and take on the sins of the world. There's nothing turn or burn about that. And, although I do believe in the existence of hell, I think it's pointless to appeal to it for those who are not Christians. It's like appealing to an insulin resistant guy with a far more superior kind of ice cream. It appeals to our sinful nature, rather than freeing us from it. That could explain why so many Christians are mean, hateful, controlling, abusive and...well, look pretty much like everyone else once you take away the parlance and rituals. 

I knew the Gospel very well. Not ever knowing or hearing wasn't my problem

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? - Romans 10:14

I grew up in Oklahoma. It's technically not really the south, but it is definitely a brass part of the buckle, known as the Bible Belt. I heard the Gospel preached from the time I was old enough to walk until a manage to wall myself away from it in my college apartment...or at least as best I could. I knew about John 3:16 and could quote it. I knew about sin, the cross, resurrection, new life, heaven, etc. Knowledge wasn't my problem. I just wanted no part of it. And, looking back and sort of psychoanalyzing what I can remember about myself, I would say that the reason I wanted no part of it is because I hated God. The idea of a Being that was in control, meaning I really wasn't, pissed me off. I was an emancipated, liberated individual. My choices were mine and I answer to no one. I also wanted no part of it because of His people. There were lots of good Christians I would meet. But I couldn't focus on them because of all of the dingbat Christians that used to get on my last nerve.  I never believed the ones that pretended that their life was perfect and everything was rosy. And the fact I knew they were probably lying about what they were selling angered me. Still does. I just don't hate them anymore. In fact, I pray they can land without crashing. That's an impossible sort of life to maintain. I don't wish that stress on my worst enemy.

By the way, the Scripture above from Romans 10 seems to contradict what I just told you. But, keep reading. Chapters 9-11 are about Israel and the gentile church. Israel's problem wasn't a lack of knowing. 

But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?”¹⁷ Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. ¹⁸ But I ask: Did they not hear? Of course they did... - Romans 10:16-18

There was no evangelist or preacher or missionary involved::

 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. ⁹ For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” ¹⁰ When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. - Matthew 8:8-10

Ever wondered how characters like this Roman centurion seemed to have a faith in Jesus without any narrative describing some preliminary ritual? That's because God chooses to use other people to be agents in someone's conversion, but it's only one way He does that. He can do it just fine on His own. Perhaps the Roman centurion had met a follower of Jesus and was given the "Romans Road". Perhaps, Jesus did Himself. I doubt it, based on the text. The truth is, He chooses to use us, rather than needs us. Too many times I have heard ministers anxiously try to manipulate people to support and engage in their ministry under the guise that if we don't, people who could know God may never know God. That's crappy theology and isn't scriptural. It's pure manipulation. God doesn't need you. He has done fine long before you came along and will do fine long after you go. If He uses you, it's because He chooses you to participate in what He's doing. And if you don't, He'll find someone else or do it Himself.

If you don't believe this, I encourage you to read the testimonies of people in nations hostile to Christianity coming to follow Jesus through dreams and visions. No missionaries. If there were, they came along after the fact. In my case, I was in Children's PICU, at 3:45 am. There was no pastor or chaplain or anyone...at least that I can remember. He spoke to me directly. That may make some of you, even Christians, slightly uncomfortable. But He did. And it wasn't His voice that changed me. I was already there. I just didn't have any idea what to do or where to go. That's when He spoke. That's what He's like. He never leaves you abandoned and without a clue.

There was no alter call, no raising of my hand, going forward or even celebratory baptism (for those leaning towards baptismal regeneration). He just was there and He turned me around. But it wasn't an assault on my will. It was just the opposite. It was like He was patiently waiting for me to run out of rope, which I did. He was faithful. I wasn't. He was there the whole time. I wasn't. That parable about the prodigal son's father running to meet him halfway was what it felt like to me. But it wasn't in denial of the pain and heartbreak I was going through. He embraced me in it. More on that in a minute.

There was no happy ending after my decision

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33

I accepted Christ at the moment my only son died in our arms. I kept my conversion to myself. The next days and weeks would be full of mourning, preparing for a funeral, receiving family and friends. It involved the dead silence and loneliness after the guests left. Most testimonies you hear fit well with the rules for any good short story. There is background, conflict, rising action, climax and resolution. The resolution part usually is a changed life. No doubt my life was changed. But it was impossible to delineate what part of that change was associated with the death of my son and what part was the acceptance of Jesus. I was a closet apprentice of Jesus for quite a while. My wife, who was Christian, distanced herself from Christ and the church, while I was inching towards it more and more. Statistically, we should have divorced. There were couples in NICU we made friends with who had separated by the time their child had passed away. Counselors told us to prepare for that. I have no way of knowing why we didn't. I had moved my wife half way across the country to a strange place, only to get her pregnant, culminating in a premature delivery of our son and about 9 months of intense health care giving.

There's no silver lining in this story. No balloons or loud blasting of Celebration. And I have a sneaky suspicion my story isn't the only one like that. Yet, in an evangelical culture where testimonies must follow the rules for a great short story, ours do not fit the rules. They do not give the tidy resolution that is required to sufficiently manage the group of listeners. Is there any good news in this? Yes, but it is in and through this pain, suffering and heartache that I found new life. My circumstances sucked. But He was there in it with me. I can remember being alone in my house, naked, drunk, cussing God and crying till my head ached. He was there with me. He was crying with me. I didn't get answers as to the 'why?' but I did feel His presence through all of this. And it is that presence that still holds me today. By the way, the Lord preserved our marriage and gave us two precious children to raise. He's been good. It has been on His timeline and done entirely His way. And, on this side of it all, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Don't ever feel like there's something wrong with you or that it didn't really take if your story doesn't neatly fit the rules for great short stories. Relax. You are His. If you can think back, He was there with you in the pain, not taking it away. He saw you through it and is here on the other side of it. We need to stop trying to manipulate people to do things they otherwise wouldn't do, at the expense of these poor people trying to satisfy that request with their own story. I'm not saying that happens all the time. But it does happen a lot. And for those of you who have a similar story, ours is no less powerful or important. I am sure of it.

I didn't stop sinning, even after 20 years

Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, ³¹ so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now^[h] receive mercy as a result of God’s mercy to you. ³² For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all. - Romans 11:30-32

There are two undeniable truths to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The first is that, because of the Person and work of Christ, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make God love you more than He does right now and nothing to make Him love you any less than He does right now. The second is that once you decide not to believe that, you need to earn His acceptance, meaning you have to reject that Person and work. Whatever was procured for you absent your moral perfection cannot be taken away from you because of your moral imperfection. Either His shed blood is sufficient to cover all sins...or it isn't.

I say this to admit that after 20 years, I still sin. What is sin? It isn't just behavioral. In fact, behavior reflects sin, rather than is identified as it. Your inner life is oriented towards the Kingdom of God or it isn't. If it is oriented to the Kingdom of God, you aren't made perfect. You're deemed righteous before God, but that's through Christ's finished work, not yours. That means there is a long process of not only falling into sin, but even discovering sin you've had all along but didn't really recognize in yourself before. It is a bit humiliating. It's actually a lot humiliating. But it's necessary. There can't be a transformation for the better without it. And it is normal. Every Christian, including the original Apostles continued to sin after their dedication to Christ. We are saved by grace, through faith, in Christ, plus nothing.

But I am better than I was. There's no doubting that. There's a third truth to the Gospel that is just as incredibly important as the first two. You are changed by Jesus. Jesus accepts you just as you are, not as you should be, because you will never be as you should be, this side of heaven. But, nonetheless, Jesus never leaves you where He found you. There's no chance of dedicating your life to being an apprentice of Jesus Christ and not change for the better. It could be that you have changed but can't see it. I tend to be one of those people with the confidence issues. That's why you need a wife, friends, family, to help you get a sober look at where you've come. Otherwise, if you're like me, you probably will have a difficult time taking inventory of all the change.

I am not a fan of the word disciple and prefer apprentice. It's no fault of the biblical writers for using the word. It's just that our idea of discipleship is muddled. Many consider it just simply following Jesus and listening to everything He says. It's actually that plus doing what He says. If you don't ever attempt to try what He teaches, you'll never experience His vindication in your walk. When I discover He is telling me the truth about the sort of life He offers, it excites me and fuels me to do more. The problem is that legalistic Christians want us to focus on the outer cup, necessitating we hide the inner life until it somehow catches up with how we try to appear. And in the meantime hide the inner life as best we can, lest we get discovered. We always do sooner or later. A healthy view of apprenticeship and sanctification gives us what we need to keep going. We press on with hope in the promises He has given us, seeing the truth in those promises manifest as we discover the truth in His teaching how to live now, day by day, as His apprentice. That involves sinning. It also involves repentance. But this can't be done without the reality of sin, even if we want to eliminate all of it from our life. We are no longer slaves to sin. But it is still there.

I could go on and on. In fact, that was my original plan. My point in writing all this is to help describe my experience in going from skeptic to apprentice. I can't speak for others but only myself. Yet, I don't think any story like mine is useless. I wish more people would do this. Go ahead and do it even if, in fact, your story already does. We can all get something out of it. In fact, what we get out of it may be exactly what we needed to know. That's also how He chooses to use us, despite the paradigms that suggest otherwise. I want you to find solace and encouragement in a ragamuffin who's story is a bit outside of the norm. He loves those outside the margins as much as He does the rest.

There's a lot of negative headers to this piece. But you need to know I am still dedicated to being His apprentice. There have been many days I wanted to walk away. But I can't. I have nowhere else to go. He still has the words of life for me. No, I do not have all the answers nor do I always know what He's up to or what He wants. But I do desire to find out. Not only does that count, that's the way to satisfying it. He still defines my life, shaping it and giving me more than enough to live the life He first introduced to me 20 years ago.

 

We're Drowning While Describing the Water

As the presidential election rolls on, there isn't much guidance to glean from the prospects we have. The two front leaders are a reality TV real estate mogul who once rasselled Vince McMahon (and shaved his head). The other is someone with an ongoing FBI criminal investigation and a potential indictment, not to mention scores of scandals, less than stellar track record and a really parochial, unsympathetic and condescending personality weighing her down. Neither are guided by anything close to what would be considered Christian values. And those who have withdrawn that were considered more meat and potatoes candidates tried to make up in being on the right side of issues to compensate for a lack in maturity and personality. The fact the choices for leadership are so depressing isn't the result of a conspiratorial power treating us to democracy theater while securing power, even though that may be a part of the soup. The reason the choices are bad is because of us. They reflect us. There has been a deterioration of moral knowledge and an unsustainable foundation of our liberal society based on nothing more than principles the same society has already proven to be either illusory or obsolete.

So, we can't find anyone good to be our leader because we no longer know what is good for our nation, let alone what's good for ourselves. That may be met with derision. But, on closer analysis, we aren't really able to explain why we consider our positions good, other than either the other options don't work or prescriptive responses (our position is good...because our position is the good one to have). THere's also the useful bullying explanation (if you don't believe like me, you should be ashamed of yourself for being so horrible a person). Hopefully, it's obvious that none of those are explanations. We don't know why our position is the best, other than it's ours. It's a chaotic society that is quickly delving into oblivion based on its own chosen trajectory. That's not because of Christianity. In fact, the basis of our current liberal society, from its founding, has made the church incidental and belief in God a private matter, in attempts to control it and avoid it competing with the State in daily life. Those are Enlightenment principles, rather than biblical ones. In Scripture, the church is the sole source of salvation for the world and its only hope. There is no  greater contrast between scripture and contemporary society than the purpose and practice of the church.

America is a product of modernism, rather than Judeo-Christian first principles. America's Rock isn't Jesus, but Locke. The Judeo-Christian principles involved were incidental, rather than primary in this nation's founding. It was/is an experiment in political liberalism with the emancipation of the individual as the chief and supreme ethic. The ethic, as well as the means to achieve it were credited as a project of autonomous reason. It's chief founder, John Locke, believed religion in general, and God in particular, cannot be known through reason, even if accepted passionately. This, of course, required any modern liberal political society to subordinate faith to reason (assuming they are incompatible) and religion to law. Belief in God has become a private matter that has little or no bearing on public life. The church itself becomes incidental, sort of like the Rotary Club.

Compare the church in America to how Scripture describes the church. Scripture describes salvation for the world coming only from the church. It is the 'called out ones' that have the keys to the Kingdom, the knowledge of God, the message of salvation and the life that redeems people, communities and nations. The church is the Body of Christ...literally His hands and feet in the world surrounding her. In fact, not only Scripture but even church fathers such as Augustine would go so far to suggest that any nation-state or society that rejects Christ cannot accomplish its goals. Secular nations operate primarily through coercion and force/violence. What the Enlightenment failed to understand is that worship is a necessary part of human life. You don't eradicate it. You just replace the object of worship. If you think violence in the name of religion can be eliminated by relegating religion to the parking lot, you do not end violence. What you get (and what we have) is violence done in the name of the nation-state. Even when it was violence done in the name of God, it's motivation was an exploitation of God, rather than His representation. The Enlightenment gives us a new god and a new form of worship. The new god is the nation-state. The new form of worship is rigorous privatization of all religious belief.  As a result, it's capacity is limited. It ends up being reduced to individual beliefs and a self-help resource, among so many others. The church becomes a voting block rather than the source of salvation.

Having experienced this deterioration, even the concept of truth and knowledge has shifted to a great extent. With so much emphasis made on empirical knowledge and scientific inquiry, there has been a loss of moral knowledge, as a result. Moral knowledge, as well as other types of knowledge that are incapable of being analyzed quantitatively, have no place and are privatized and relativized. Because the modern project of decoupling morals and values from religion had a very short half life, the results are a disorganized society driven by emotion and desire as its pathos and ethos. What we want is the good. Anything that gets in the way of what we want is bad. There is no comprehensible understanding of why we consider something good or bad other than we just want it. That's the extent of moral values in post-modern liberal democracies. In universities, knowledge is now considered to be associated with the hard sciences while all other realms of education are either reduced to language games or cultural curiosities. The post-modern response to modernism is that knowledge is unattainable, unless it is dealing only with chemistry or physics. This fragmentation relegates the essential aspects of life, knowledge related to God, values, even politics, to agenda-driven initiatives founded on identity politics. Politics, itself, has become nothing but an expression of power: taking power away from others or keeping others from taking it from us.  

With the supreme ethic of emancipation of the individual, it necessarily comes at odds with essential social institutions such as family and marriage. It has to. And with the deterioration of these institutions, the emancipated individual becomes alienated, lonely, without something to live for bigger than the self. Life becomes vapid. Without anything worth dying for, such a society hides this emptiness behind endless wars, state-sanctioned progressivism, coupled with entertainment, medication, technology and sex as the chief diversions. In short, liberal societies, including America, will not survive in the long run because the foundation is based on principles that are insufficient and even incomprehensible. This is not a failure of Judeo-Christian philosophy, but of modernism and the Enlightenment. And the post-modern response is one of non-answers that ends up fueling the modernist chief end of individual emancipation but in more innovative ways, including even emancipation from narratives and the author/artist perspectives, among other things. There is essentially little difference here between conservatives and liberals. Both are interested in the absolute freedom of individual will, whether it is to be wealthy or to express their sexuality. And, sadly, that's the deepest motivations we can find in both camps.

If salvation comes only from the church, then the church is the world's only hope. Contrary to secular thought. If this world is so empty and lost in its attempts to find non-theistic alternatives that end up with such horrible unintended results as we are witnessing, how great a salvation can the church be to the world, particularly in liberal societies. But, rather, we are not. We have obeyed the State and any redemption we can offer is kept neatly within the limitations placed on it by liberal society. One may point to violence and abuses the church can be blamed for throughout history. Yet, not many actually know or understand that same history enough to realize what they are talking about. Also, much of the abuses the church engaged in were ultimately related to having been given secular power by Rome long ago. The church considered political power as something that could be used to further the Kingdom. Yet, it came with dire consequences. Lastly, by assuming the place of the secular state, the church has been far out of place in wielding the weapons of the state, particularly coercion and force. Contrast this with the life of the church demonstrated supremely with Christ Himself. Life for the church is one of dying, giving, serving. There is a natural tension in Kingdom life as described from secular life. That's not because the church is incapable of leading nations, but because the world is diametrically at odds with the Gospel itself and the Kingdom principles of living. Control, manipulation, greed and violence have no place in the Kingdom yet are essential and necessary tools for the nation-state. There will always be that tension so long as any part of the world is untouched by and unredeemed by the Kingdom, extended by its own people. But, we are not promised a pathway to power in the affairs of the nation-state. We are only given a different kind of life and where that leads, particularly in terms of politics, is determined only by the God we serve.

 

A Tale of Two Heretics

I became a Christian in 1996. Between then and now, I have bobbed and weaved off the path on several rabbit trails, eventually getting back to some semblance of a good baseline. Some of these bobs and weaves were heretical. But, I can confidently look around and find myself in good company. In fact, when I look around, I see the same sort of errors I held. The two big ones are the error of believing God's love is heavily conditioned and the error of believing God's love makes obedience a nasty word. 

The Christ Plus Crusader

It's not uncommon to hear a sermon or read a blog warning followers of Christ of God's wrath over their own human sin where human sin and avoiding hell becomes more of the focus than the actual Gospel. Usually, it entails the overthrow of peace with God procured by Christ on the cross, by human failure. But it necessarily implies that if you believe you can experience the wrath and anger of God as a follower of Christ, then the blood of Christ cannot be a sufficient atonement for sin. At worst, you might even entertain the evil though that because of your sin, it could be His atonement wasn't sufficient for you, a distasteful and demonic thought I have had in response to those promoting this sort of heresy. The shed blood of Jesus may be a temporary disinfectant for past sins, like pouring alcohol on a wound. But whatever peace you have with God from Christ's work on the cross is tenuous and easily disrupted by your own moral failures, just as that same wound can grow new infection. Of course this entails legalism. But the most heretical part of this view isn't legalism: It's denying the power of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. It reduces the love of God to a performance-based conditional arrangement that is susceptible to and possibly even subordinate in power to human sin. This view usually raises human sin to a place of power equivalent (or even greater than) the finished work on the cross. And, ironically, it usually is presented as the biblically faithful view, although it is at odds with scripture as well as sound orthodoxy. 

What's the motivation for it? Guilty people tend to make other people feel guilty. When secret moral shortcomings seem impossible to conquer, it's human nature to shift attention on other people's shortcomings. That's more of the psychological profile. But, from a corporate or institutional level, I think the concern is fear over antinomianism (rejecting the law of God). If the law is no longer a means for God to condemn His own people, then His own people will have no regard for the law of God. Of course, that assumes the only motivation a follower of Christ could have for revering the law of God is fear of being condemned by it. So, under this view, the law of God must still be a means for God to condemn even His own children...and His own children's sole motivation to be obedient is fear of getting condemned and, in some circles, possibly losing their salvation. Although the Gospel is preached and demonstrated in scripture as a life of selfless service, this view results in appealing to vested self-interest. The Gospel to be have new, redeeming life in Christ as a servant to all and participating in God's plan to redeem the whole world becomes, rather, a gospel of saving your spiritual and metaphysical butt.

The Wounded Anti-Authoritarian Poet

You can imagine the abusive conflicts caused by this, especially within a church environment. This view usually ends with many believers getting beat up pretty by those protecting Scripture and the Bride from ecclesial windmills of the mind.  Those beat up folks react in such a way as to embrace antinomianism and unwittingly play right into the fears that led to the reaction in the first place. Grace is reduced to nothing more than a permanent good standing with God without any reference to grace also being constant overtures of power God gives His people in order to live obedient, abundant and flourishing lives, despite circumstance. The word 'obedient' may even become distasteful and a trigger word. Any teaching that discusses obedience is considered too close to the heresy described above and harmful, rather than helpful. Of course, holding this view requires changing your mind about the nature and extent of the atonement, sanctification, trustworthiness of Scripture, the existence of hell and even God. In other words, it is escaping the frying pan by slipping into fire. 

But it's all reactionary. Reactionary positions are usually ones you really don't believe down into your borns...they are accepted for their temporary utility in firing back at the ones who hurt you. The are meant to be more of the last word in an argument than a real life lived. The more hurt, the more powerful they feel to us. Is it possible a wounded Christian really does reject the verities of the faith and walks away? That's a difficult question to answer. You have to believe it is logically possible to receive new life and somewhere down the road, walk away. It may be logically possible but it's existentially improbable. It's possible the somewhat trite saying that you can't lose what you never had may have some appeal. Notwithstanding, one way to know if one of these folks are true believers is how they respond to actually getting what they want...defeating the abuser. What is there reaction when the ecclesial perpetrators are vanquished by them? If it is joy and satisfaction, they're probably counterfeit. Usually, retribution for a believer entails mourning and a process of second guessing most of our motivations and visceral positions. It's impossible to experience the love of Christ and not have empathy for even your worst enemy when they are down.

Two Loved Tribes Go to War

The first heretic's crippling problem is a serious lack of faith that the Spirit of God can actually change people to become obedient. It's a sort of deistic view of sanctification. We just don't know if the Spirit can win over the heart as it relates to daily living. The Spirit needs may need our help and persistent nudging.  It may not be a part of their statement of faith. But, regardless of what you say you believe, what you actually live out is the final arbiter in what you actually believe.

The second heretic's crippling problem is a serious lack of trust in any authority outside of their own thoughts and feelings. It was authority that wounded them. It was authority that wounded those they cared about. Authority must be the problem. But authority isn't always the jack-booted tyrant. That's abuse of authority. Death on a cross, for those He came to save, is authority...it was enough of an authority to disarm and make public spectacle of the powers and principalities running this world. Actually, authority and love are not mutually exclusive. In fact, authority is an unavoidable fact of reality. And God's love for us entails authority: authority in His Word, His provision and His plans for us and for others. Love is how authority is perfectly manifest, rather than being contrary to it.

What happens to God's children when they fall into serious error? 

He loves them.

That's what happened to me...in both cases.

But that doesn't sound compelling to the human mind. To the legalist, love is something conditional that can be completely withdrawn. To the antinomian, love cannot have anything to do with authoritarian correction. Maybe love is misunderstood. The concept of God's love is really what's at issue here. What it's not is as important as what it is. God's love is not conditional. If you think it is for salvation, there's probably no Good News to preach. Although sanctification is cooperative between God's Spirit and us, as we go through life, if you think that cooperation is withdrawn from us because of behavior, we probably already abandoned sanctification long ago...probably right after we came to faith. God's love is desiring the absolute best for us. For the antinomian, that means His love entails correction. Love isn't always a big hug. Sometimes it is redirecting you away from the landmines you are about to step on. And this isn't always a wonderful experience. Sometimes it's painful. But the pain isn't a reflection of God's anger, but His lovingly pulling us away from harming ourselves and possibly others.

When I identified with both of these views (and I have at some point), I would probably have even conceded to it. I would have simply wanted you to let me work through it with God. And, that really is the best answer and advice well headed by well meaning folks.

What's the overall problem here? Wounded people wound others. Pride is a very strong part of being human, even if we've been Christians for years. And the result is divisiveness. Unity is lost, unless it is about unity within our camps that have separated from the other camps. And, eventually, our camps will divide. There's nothing more humiliating than surrendering our chosen battles...and nothing more healing either. We are called to be a people united in the Lord we give our allegiance. Not only does that set us apart from the rest of the world, it necessarily requires a life that is opposed to the natural life we all  know and live without much thought. But it is this life that changes that. It changes us. And it's God's love that's the cause and the effect. Unity is established in Christ's love for His church (His people). Unity is supernaturally produced and obediently maintained. You have to quit your project to receive it. And you have to intentionally want to protect it once you do. The world (how the world operates and thrives) rejects this love and is at odds with it and us. That means the principles of this world and its powers will throw everything they have to evaporate our unity. That's something to remember as we are about to climb on our chosen hobby horse for Jesus. He doesn't need us. He's done just fine without us and will continue to do just fine with us. We need Him. It's easy to get that backwards in the quest of distinguishing ourselves from the rest of the herd.

Don't get the idea that because I am writing about errors I once held that I don't hold any errors now. In fact, there are a few I am in denial about and many more I am completely unawares. My comfort isn't in eliminating all my false beliefs. My comfort is in the unconditional love God has for me. This love isn't just a safe standing before a righteous and holy God. This love is also what's changing me into something I can't possibly imagine, even as I finish writing this sentence. And I have hope. That's a big deal for me.

About the Kingdom: Fathers, the Fatherless, Real Influence & Ultimate Reality

Joe sits outside on the steps of Taylor Home and looks out beyond the circle drive to 23^rd street. It’s the first spring Sunday of 1951 where sitting on the steps without a jacket was even possible. His seven brothers were either playing catch or running throughout the large living room area, playing some game that Joe couldn’t acknowledge, but could hear through the screen door. The past 7 of his 12 years of life are only known here at Taylor Home.  It’s practically all he knows, outside of the somewhat regular Sunday afternoon visits, after church. A clean and, somewhat quiet, 1949 Buick turns off 23^rd street and rolls up the circle drive. Joe stoically gazes as the car stops and his mother gets out of the passenger side with a smile and a toy more appropriate for a boy of age 5. A second Buick pulls in behind. Joe’s oldest brother gets out of the car, hair slicked straight back, wearing pleated pin striped pants, white cotton shirt and suspenders. The step dad, dawning a brown fedora, gets out last with a noticeable reluctance.

The meal downstairs in the over-sized basement/kitchen is almost ready. The smell of yeast rolls makes his eyes burn.  Mr. and Mrs. Cruz have made another incredible meal for the boys, plus Joe’s Sunday guests. The Cruz’s have volunteered to manage Taylor Home for several years. The Lyon’s Club has helped raise funds to meet the Cruz’s, and the boys’, needs. There are also fees paid by family members to help offset the costs. But the fees are far from meeting the monthly budget. The home is a sturdy 3 story brick structure, including the basement. William Taylor, a county judge, always had a heart for wayward boys and convinced the Oklahoma legislature to fund the construction and first few year’s budget for the home he envisioned. It opened in 1924, a year after Taylor died. Since then the home has seen boys come and go. Most of them aren’t technically orphans. They are abandoned. The reasons are somewhat similar. But most of the boys who live at Taylor with the Cruz’s have family somewhere. Joe’s mother remarried a few years earlier.  Joe’s father had passed away prematurely, leaving his mother with Joe and his eight brothers. She broke down and sent Joe and every brother but the oldest to Taylor Home. The man she married was considered somewhat well to do. But there was an unspoken understanding that the arrangement would remain as is for Joe and his brothers. The Sunday afternoon visits after church will be as close to going home as possible for Joe and his brothers. Taylor Home is now home. And the boys at Taylor are all his brothers.

Across the street, on the west side of the property, was Crutcho Public School. All the boys walked across the street to attend each weekday. It was there that my father met most of the Taylor Home boys, and became very close friends with them. Joe and his brothers were no exception. But there was also Willy K., who had the voice of a song bird. Joe’s well-to-do stepdad, Charlie, was a singer and talent promoter. When Willy was in high school, my Dad went with him and a few others to a local dance hall in Oklahoma City. Local talent would provide the music. I think even Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys entertained crowds there once. Charlie, as well as my Dad and the other boys with them, encouraged Willy to get up and sing with the band. Charlie saw great potential and profit with Willy. As it turned out, Willy created a wild stir with his singing talent that evening. It pissed off the band members, especially their lead singer. But it wouldn’t lead to anything. Willy wouldn’t become a famous recording artist, nor would Charlie make a mint from Willy’s voice.

Richard K., my Dad’s age, was a gifted athlete and played for Crutcho Bulldog’s basketball and baseball teams. However, Richard K. had suffered with a bout of polio as a younger boy, which prevented him from doing much more with those talents beyond Crutcho. My Dad played alongside Richard during both basketball and baseball seasons at Crutcho for many years. Richard B. was another who ran with the same crowd. He spent a great many days at my Dad’s house, after school. In fact, most of the boys from Taylor Home would spend time at my Dad’s house. My Grandfather, an adventurist who experienced life during the depression in train cars and WPA projects, never met a stranger. The boys loved him and he always had energy to entertain my Dad’s visitors when they stopped by. Likewise, my Dad would spend many a day at Taylor Home, and would also be able to testify to the wonderful meals the Cruz's provided.

The boys were abandoned. But, somehow, they were not really abandoned. They had their own families, even if it was ad hoc and forged through unfortunate circumstances. They were loved. And, because of this love, they grew up and became good influences of their own. Not all of them. Of course, several succumbed to addictions and other maladies that would forever cobble their lives. But doesn’t that happen with kids with traditional families too? It would always infuriate my father to watch Joe’s mother drive up on those Sundays. Why wouldn’t they take Joe and his brothers’ home with them? Why leave them at Taylor Home every Sunday? It was a subtle, yet life forming rejection that was beyond comprehension. But, despite blood relatives, the Cruz’s, the other boys, my Dad and other friends at Crutcho School, were the circle of sufficiency for those boys. And although it wasn’t ideal, it probably was better than what most of those boys wished it could be for them, which was to be with their Mom or Dad or Stepdad. Even in the midst of unfortunate circumstances and staggering core rejection, they were provided what they needed. They were never really left orphans.

A few weeks ago, my Dad told me about a dream he had. He was asking me if I could figure it out. In the dream he was directed to help clear out an old building that looked just like Taylor Home, so it could be demolished. He was driving a wagon pulled by a team of horses. As he approached the site, he would go inside and gather up young boys and put them in the back of the wagon. As he drove the wagon with the boys in tow, he would pass by several holes filled with bones. Following instructions, he would take each boy and place him in a hole with the bones. The last boy he placed in the hole started to cry. My Dad asked him what was wrong. The boy in the dream replied, "I'd rather die than live like this." Upon hearing this, my Dad was moved to tears, picked up the boy, hugged him tightly, went back and gathered up all the other boys and took them home to live with him. He asked me what the dream meant. I am not sure I know exactly the meaning. But I think I understand where it comes from.

I think it was the boys from Taylor Home that most impacted my father. My Dad wasn’t in a rich family, by any stretch. His Dad always told him that he should aspire to be an engineer. He took it to heart, working his way through college at Safeway and earning a physics and math degree. Unfortunately, his Dad died during the Christmas season in 1958, right after a petty argument. It wasn’t over anything serious. They never got to reconcile. But he succeeded with his father's vision for him. He was offered an engineering job at Southwestern Bell Telephone Company and another with the FBI. He took the Southwestern Bell job simply because the FBI required another boot camp in Quantico. Having joined the Marines in 1963, he was done with boot camps.

He became a member of Big Brothers and adopted a wayward boy named Steven S. Steven’s home was severely busted. He had little or no chance. My Dad would have him visit on a regular basis, help him with homework, teach him basic skills, like working on cars. Eventually, Dad would help support Steven achieve what he achieved, a bachelor of science. Steven ended up becoming a successful engineer. When my Dad started a business, he would always hire and train young people in college. They would end up going elsewhere for careers. Were you to ask them, they owed a great deal to my Dad’s opportunity to learn a trade and get on their feet. I think all of this stems from his days in Crutcho, running close with the boys of Taylor Home.

I can still remember a very cold December night as a small boy, riding with my Dad deep into Oklahoma City and stopping by a dilapidated two story frame house. There was a long flight of tiled steps up to a door. I stayed mid-way up the steps as I watched him carry a large cardboard box full of gifts up the stairs. He opened the door. Almost immediately in front of the door was a bed with a sick woman lying in it. Small children gathered around his legs, anticipating what he had brought them. He never talked about what he had done. For years it was a memory I had to piece together because he never made it a ‘teachable moment’ for me. He had adopted this family that Christmas. And, never telling me what he was doing, he just told me to stay mid-way up the stairs and wait for him. 

My Dad is now in his mid-70’s. I don’t think he realizes his life’s impact. Maybe he does. He was always the consummate entrepreneur. It was always about progress, building things, opportunity, making a materially better life. But, while all of that activity was going on, the real impact going on under his nose was on the young people he mentored, employed, trained, and counseled. I don’t think he did that for brownie points. Not at all. If that was the case, would have took advantage of photo opportunities and local newspaper reports to snag every public opportunity to show it off. No, what he thought he was doing was creating jobs and building wealth. All the while, he was forming lives fueled by the desire to love others and help those who needed some help. And I think it was a broken heart from experiencing life with the boys of Taylor Home that started that deep, gnawing desire.

Rejection is worse than death. Acceptance is more valuable than wealth. Nothing will malform a young and impressionable personality more than to be utterly rejected by a mother or father or family. Nothing will heal those wounds more than unconditional acceptance. In fact, acceptance has the duel ability to heal and to change. But those are just words. They are, however, a tangible reality when experienced in the lives of people placed in your path. You don’t have it all planned out. But the love for those placed in your path can spawn a desire for their good. And it is selfless. You may not really understand this is taking place. I am not sure my Dad did. But it was. After all, that’s what love is: desiring the very best for another, without personally benefiting from it, other than seeing their happiness.

For years I knew the Gospel of the forgiveness of sins. I knew about the arrangement Jesus made in the past, on the cross. But I always had a hard time connecting the dots between the doctrine and real life. There was doctrine and church and Bible study. Then there was real life. And the two never seemed to touch, although I wouldn't admit it. Even after I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ as an adult, for years the connection was still a puzzle left unresolved. I always thought the entire message of Christianity was that I sin, my sins are forgiven if I repent, and I will go to heaven when I die. But what do I do with all this in between now and my death? How does that apply to my pain now and the pain of the people placed in my path? I’ve since discovered the Gospel Jesus preached: The Gospel of the Kingdom of the Heavens. And it connects the dots. Doctrine didn’t become unimportant. It just began to touch and color all of life…because the Gospel is about real life. The Kingdom of God is about redeeming a people, and through them, redeeming the created order. It’s about devotion to a King, of which all the promises given to Israel throughout the Old Testament had been fulfilled, and benefiting from all of it now and forever simply by placing my confidence in Him. But Jesus reflects this sort of life He offers. It is about forgiveness of sins. But it's also about a life of love and restoration. It’s about loving the unlovable. I wasn’t lovable, yet I was loved into realness by a Realm that no longer remains distant and detached, but engulfs my world. It’s about loving the unwanted, the cast away, the outcast. It’s about taking in the rejection of a young boy by his parents is wrong, and being inspired to love them as best you can to help them live.

I’m not sure if my Dad realizes it, but there was reason and purpose in his living in Crutcho, as well as there was in those boys ending up in Taylor Home. There was real intention in his feelings toward those boys and their plight, as well as those he would meet and help throughout his entire life. This was a desire placed in his heart by the King and the desire reflects His Kingdom…His Realm. There is no way I can express my appreciation for what my Dad has done for me in providing, teaching, encouraging. But, it is the Kingdom of God, coming through him, as I watched him help others, not from some stoic imperative or a well-managed reputation, but from an outpouring of compassion, that I can point to as help in connecting these dots. This is his greatest gift to me, above all else. He has shown me the love and acceptance of my heavenly Father, without planning it that way, which is the best way it’s done. I keep thinking my life is far too filled with work, budgets, obligations to be able to have a real impact with the life I have been given. I think if I am making an impact, I probably won't realize it. I can definitely tell my Dad, if he thinks he hasn't made a real Kingdom impact with the life he has been given, read this and remember.  He showed me what this looks like and it has helped me make that connection between red letters and real life in a profound way. It points beyond my Dad, to a Realm and a King that works throughout this dark world like an unstoppable secret. And it always encourages me. And it always helps me feel again.

About The Kingdom: God's Will & Henry's Ambition

HENRY WANTS IT. THEREFORE GOD WANTS IT.

King Henry VIII was a self-absorbed despot. But he took his religion very seriously. In fact, Henry believed everything he desired was God’s will as well. Whatever Henry wanted, ipso facto, God wanted. And if you didn’t do what Henry told you to do, you weren’t just disobeying Henry. You were disobeying God Almighty. Needless to say, execution was a common tool Henry would use to punish those who would threaten or thwart Henry’s/God’s will. His first wife, Catherine of Aragon, was tossed aside for being incapable of delivering Henry a male heir. He wanted a divorce from Catherine so that he could marry his mistress, Anne Boleyn. This drew rejection from the pope. But, because Henry wanted it, it was also God’s will and separated England from the Church of Rome, by parliamentarian vote. His second wife, Ann Boleyn, also failed to provide him an air. Henry’s right hand man, Thomas Cromwell, had her arrested for treason. Henry had her head cut off. After six marriages, hundreds of bloody executions, power struggles and intrigue, Henry lie in his bed, extremely overweight, writhing in pain, open sores, fever, and his court in disarray. His biggest nemesis, the Duke of Norfolk, awaiting execution from the orders of Henry. They never came. Henry died before he could make them.

In Henry’s mind, he was the It Guy. He believed he was a gift to England, Europe and mankind. He believed God knew this, which was why he helped place Henry on the throne in the first place. God had great taste. His dad placed the Tudors on the throne. Henry was the first Tudor king to inherit the throne amidst lots of other royal families who had as much a right to the throne (if not more) than he did. That reality drove his distrust and ruthlessness in his court. But he was a very devout Catholic (prior to axing Rome from English matters). He prayed. He sought advice of his bishop. He took the outward forms of Christianity very seriously. It was his inner life that remain untouched. How do we know this? Out of the heart comes the thoughts, desires and resulting actions of people. Henry’s paranoia, uncontrollable lust for women and power were clearly not coming from a heart for God.

ANOTHER PATTERN

Henry was a turd. And any student of Jesus Christ could easily see that Henry’s will wasn’t necessarily God’s will. In fact, any student of Jesus Christ would tell you that God doesn’t align His will with yours. You align your will with His. Once more, if you choose not to, God will let you have your way. Romans 12:1-2 states:

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

 We are all habitually trained to think, act and live in the pattern of this world. What is that pattern? Well, its selfishness expressed as lust, greed, violence, deception. It’s manipulation of others to achieve what you desire. It’s believing you can control the outcomes of things to see you will vindicated, so long as you do what’s necessary to make that happen. It reflects self-will. If that’s the pattern of the world, what other pattern is better? And how would we be able to change to fit that pattern? From this text, it’s clear that thinking and how we think is the first part that needs to be transformed. And this is done, essentially, by surrendering the project of our life to God. Surrendering to Him means abandoning your will and desire and preconceptions to be open to what He has to say about it, and adjust accordingly. He gives us the indirect means to do accomplish this. In other words, there are simple disciplines we can do so that we can indirectly accomplish, through His continual overtures of grace, those things we cannot accomplish on our own.

Notice that in verse 2, the order is first you present yourselves as a living sacrifice (give up the project of your life and give it to God), next you pursue the transformation of your thought world (study, meditating on His word, other means)…THEN you will be able to discern the will of God. And I would add, you will be able to discern His will especially in the more mundane things, as well as the larger ones. When you can discern His will better, you can adjust your life accordingly. And this isn’t something that happens immediately. It takes a long time and never really ends.

You can’t know God’s will, even in the tiny stuff if you don’t surrender the project of your life and begin the process of aligning yourself to the Kingdom of God, which is God in action in your life and around you. Outside of doing that, the will of God is elusive, resulting in mere platitudes. In such a case, the only will we can be sure of is our own. And off we go equating our will to God’s, if we are so motivated. And the motivation is already there to do it. Ask Henry. Not all of us are geared to be as Oedipal or self-absorbed as Henry. But all of us are intimately familiar with self-will and all that goes with it. Our natural capacity is to ignore God’s will or equate it with our own, so we can get what we want, or what we think we want. It is through the Many are, especially where ministry is very visible.  Regardless, outside of God’s Kingdom, our natural inclination is self-will, without much regard to what that means or the wake it may cause.

MAKING WONDERFUL CONSEQUENCES OF HORRIBLE DECISIONS

Although God permits us to have our way, does that somehow tie God’s hands behind His back? Does it make Him innocuous or limited? Hardly. Although God wasn’t in approval of Henry’s long list of desires and expectations, God wasn’t hamstrung. Look at the mess Henry caused by trying to change wives. It led to a split from Rome. People’s lives were destroyed in the wake of his desire to marry a mistress so he could have a son for an heir. Yet, a couple of long term things resulted from all this mess.

First, Henry came from outside the circle of English royal inner circle. Although his father was an earl and his mother a countess, the Tudors weren’t at the top of the food chain. His father attained the throne through battle, of which Henry was the heir. And it was a tenuous victory. As a result, Henry distrusted the inner ring in terms of counsel. He consciously chose men from common background, rather than from aristocracy, to be his closest advisors. After all, Henry thought the son of a butcher wouldn’t be a part of the adversaries vying to unseat him. After parting with Rome, he broke up the monasteries and sold them…not to dukes and lords, but to merchants and commoners. These things led to the end of feudalism and gave rise to the British middle class. More people could access the wealth of the British Kingdom.

Second, Cromwell (his advisor), for the very first time in the history of the monarchy, used Parliament as the pivotal state decision to separate from Rome. Parliament voted to give the church’s leadership to Henry. That would be the catalyst leading to democratic representation. From that point forward, Parliament became a critically important part of British governance. Although the monarchy remained, many decisions would be made by representatives of the people. Of course, British people who came to America brought this sort of governance with them, leading to revolution and a new nation guided by a very similar form of government but without a monarch. Neither Henry nor Cromwell had a clue this one decision to separate from Rome would have such far-reaching impact. And it would probably not be the impact Henry would have desired, had he known it.

Third, because of the split with Rome, Henry’s advisors would recommend something considered radical in that day: publish the Bible in English so everyone could read it. There were several other reforms Henry and his advisors made that let the genie out of the bottle. Although Henry regretted many of these decisions when his circumstances required he abandon them, the genie was out and couldn’t be controlled. This led to church reform in England that gave birth to separation of church and state, autonomous local church bodies, as well as getting Scripture into the hands of common people. Between the rise of Parliament and church reforms, both under Henry’s watch, the seeds were planted for the United States of America, which would initially begin with the religious refugees who were beneficiaries of the reforms and of the legislative form of democracy.

These are very good long term consequences and reveal a sovereign God who can make chicken salad of compost. More such examples could be mentioned. The point being that although these things were accomplished because of wicked desires and acts by a wicked king, God used them to further His Kingdom in ways that were not even on the radar of Henry or his advisors when they were made. Regardless of the short term knee-jerk decisions, God used them for some awesome long term consequences. That’s how God works. He’s a God of redemption. He is constantly bringing all things under the control of Christ. This short bit of history gives us a glimpse of how He does it.

IF WE’RE HONEST, WE CAN IDENTIFY WITH HENRY

I can call Henry a turd. The truth is, I am a lot like Henry. I know what it is like to get what I want and presume God wants me to get it. I can understand blaming others for my own shortcomings and wanting to rid myself of their presence because it reminds me all too much of my own mess. But I’m not the King of England, don’t have a court or a Tower of London to put people. Thank God! Sometimes having extreme limitations can be a blessing. There’s probably no telling what sort of mess I could create were I given such latitude and power. Aside that, although I know I can identify a bit with Henry, I can also see God redeem Henry’s bad choices. I can also see that bad choices do not get in the way of a God of redemption. And that makes me not be so shame-ridden. I’ve made some really bad choices too. But because of Jesus’ atoning and redemptive work on the cross, I am free of my history. I accept His redemptive work on my behalf. And I am truly free. I may not be free of the consequences of my decisions. But I am free of anything that would stand between God and me. That path is clear, flat and open, because of Christ.

Look at what Henry did. The people he deemed dangerous, he simply arrested them and cut off their heads. When his wives wouldn’t produce a son, he did the same. He broke relations with Rome over the fact he wanted to divorce his old wife and trade up with a newer model. And the wake left in the lives of those who felt Henry’s retribution and carelessness were permanently dented. Yet, you can see God using what seemed to be his knee-jerk strategies of getting what he wanted as a long term good which led to religious freedom, representative democracy in the English-speaking world as well as a Bible published in English for the first time. Think of what God can do with the bad choices you’ve made, if you entrust your life in Christ? I doubt you beheaded people or ran a country into the poor house. But if He could redeem that mess, He can redeem yours. There’s no doubt that whatever could be called unfortunate in our perspective, He can turn around and use it for our good.

Think of a former drug dealer who learned how to be street smart among a dangerous crowd. He accepts Christ, turns his life around and becomes a pastor. And although he never returns to that old world again, some of the things he learned on the streets he drew upon when handling difficult situations and difficult people in church. In fact, his street credibility was transformed into a straight-talk honesty that ministered to many people who were simply tired of the Christian charade. I knew that man. Were he still alive, he’d tell you too. God redeems it all. He not only transforms lives, but He transforms the mistakes we make in our lives for His Kingdom. Read the following verses from Colossians 1:

15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. 21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.

Did you read that? He is reconciling all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And that includes reconciling you! Do you think you’ve made bad choices that prevail over someone who holds everything in subsistence and is reconciling all things in heaven and earth? If you do, you’re probably far more self-absorbed than Henry. There is no bad choice that can keep you from the Kingdom of God. That’s the reason Jesus taught the Beatitudes. He wanted everyone to know that the Kingdom of God is for anyone, regardless of status or position. The Kingdom is even available to the poor in spirit, the meek, the mourning…pretty much all those people you normally wouldn’t think had access to any Kingdom. Remember, the Kingdom of God is God in action in your life and surroundings. You can be a part of that.

Your worst day He transforms so it can be used for His Kingdom. It doesn’t make any difference how bad you are. Do you remember the Son of Sam? His real name is David Berkowitz. He was a serial killer in the 1970’s and he is still in prison. And he’s okay with that. He found Jesus and now ministers in prison. His desire is to reach others with the Kingdom, even if it’s done his entire life behind bars. That’s pretty cool. If God can redeem the Son of Sam, He can handle whatever you’ve been holding on to. It isn’t keeping you from Him, despite what you think (or maybe even taught). So why not take advantage of His offer of a new kind of life now?

If you have accepted Christ but feel in a rut, read Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5-7. Read Romans 12:1-2. Start to see that the kind of life Jesus offers you in here and now. Heaven when you die is just icing on the cake. The Gospel of Jesus Christ was not merely to get people to go to the good place and avoid going to the bad place. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is to get heaven into you now, where you are. If you haven’t accepted Christ, what in the world could you be waiting for? Get it over with already. The kind of peace Christ gives, even in the bad times, far surpasses any high you could experience on your own, in the best of times. Yes, I don’t know all of you’ve done. It doesn’t matter. In light of all Henry’s mess and how God redeemed that, what have you got to lose?

About the Kingdom: Narratives, Truth & Simon's Plight

Now, for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, “This man is the divine power known as the Great Power.”…Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw. When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

Peter answered: ”May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”

Then Simon answered, “Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me.” – Acts 9-10, 13, 8:18-23

This isn’t really an essay on how we shouldn’t be like Simon the Sorcerer. No one needs that lesson, any more than we need a lesson on how it’s wrong to steal or kill. This is more about exploring my guilt of being like Simon. It’s about the encouragement we have to be Simon’s. And it’s about why we always tend towards behaving like Simon, even though we know Simon’s a bad role model.

Lately, I have been becoming more and more isolated from the social media universe, mainly because my views are becoming more contrary to most folks who tend to always venture there to share their views on things. It’s been a bit confusing for me, let alone others who may have noticed the change. Last month I posted a sort of declaration of Jesus’ teachings on things that are also political hot topics. In particular, my point was to show how far off both liberal and conservative political viewpoints have deviated from Christ’s teachings. I talked about abortion, taxes, government, loving enemies, etc. To my surprise, I ended up having liberals think I am finally coming out of the closet and declaring myself liberal. And conservatives also chimed in thanking me for posting such conservative values. I would’ve thought both sides would have spit on my profile page, not congratulate me. But it made me think about narratives, truth and my own personal position.

For those of you who pay attention to my use of ‘narrative’, let me say I’m not anywhere close to postmodern. Far from it. I believe reality is objective and unbendable, even though my understanding or assenting to it may not be. I use the term narrative as something separate from reality, even if it may incorporate parts of it, because it increasingly tends to be separate. A narrative is simply a view of the world that you invest yourself or conform. It’s used as a reference point to give value and meaning to life. But they are always strung together by human convention and based on whatever the impending need is at the moment. I have bought into several narratives in my lifetime. But when I would embrace a conservative or liberal narrative, there was always a weird tension within me that I refused to explore or didn’t understand. In fact, I sought refuge in my chosen narrative when it got uncomfortable. Comfort was the point.

Before I accepted Christ, I was liberal. I was pro-choice, voted for Michael Dukakis for president, anti-Christian, anti-religion, you name it. I was to the left of whoopee. And I was vocal about my liberalism. I felt the need to straighten people out. And it came with tension I wouldn’t face. After I accepted Christ, my political views shifted quite a bit. The best I can explain about this change was that I deeply explored my thinking about everything once Jesus became something to me other than the plague. Value of life, unavoidability of truth, the problem of sin, the solution of Christ, etc., shifted. Once I decided to put down my weapons that I used to protect myself from anything Jesus-related and let a little bit of the Jesus stuff get into my little kingdom, it ended up changing a great deal of my thinking. I couldn’t consider myself liberal anymore, as that term is popularly recognized.

As someone who wasn’t Christian, I could listen to someone talk about Jesus or watch a movie about him. But, I would rather get chewed up by a wood chipper than to seriously consider placing my confidence in Jesus. My guard against becoming a Christian zombie (which is how I thought of serious Christians) was so well managed and protected. But the thing about it is that the very second you make yourself even the slightest bit open to Jesus’ offer, that’s it. It’s over. At least, that’s how it went with me. So, as everything I thought I knew began to change, I decided I was politically conservative. Sort of the same story. I embraced that narrative. I learned all the talking points and how they applied to current events. The positions were the ones I was supposed to hold, being a Christian, by default. I was also outspoken, like I was before Christ. And it came with the same sort of tension. Rather than try to suppress it, I just couldn’t understand it. I wanted to. But trying to understand a soul that is in the process of reorganizing from being driven by self-deceit isn’t easy. And it takes lots of time. At least it does for me.

As things changed, there was a strange familiarity. That tension would still be there, particularly as I would share the Gospel, engage in some apologetic argument or simply talk politics. What was it? Where was it coming from? Why? For a split second, I experienced this life changing event that involved total surrender. And it felt great. I realized He was there and wasn’t going to leave me an orphan, no matter what I had ever thought, said or did. Circumstance had no hold on my joy. But it didn’t last that long. Before I knew it, I was still engaging in the narrative-promoting process I engaged in as a non-believing liberal. Only difference was the content. For a bit, I thought what I believed wasn’t true and that was the source of my tension. Through a series of life events, time and struggles of my own, I began to realize it’s not the truth that’s the problem. The tension didn’t come from the position I was holding. It was coming from the disposition in which I held and promoted it. The problem was me. I wasn’t trying to protect the Gospel, the Bible or Christ. I was trying to protect my own self-interest and reputation.

I sought refuge in the big narratives and tried to find rest there. And there is no rest in narratives. There’s only rest in truth. Sometimes the narratives can have truth in them. But the fact they are narratives and how we are drawn to narratives is the big problem. At least it is for me. When you hold to pure evil and obvious mistruths, the tension is worse, because deep down, you know you’re as wrong as you can be. But, when you buy into narratives that are mostly true, at a specific place, issue or point in time, you can excuse your motives and thinking simply because the content of the narrative you embrace is about true things. And you can go years engaging in strange human behavior that really doesn’t get you very far in any circles except in those among people who have bought into the exact same narrative you have. Although you ‘engage’ in dialogue with those you disagree, whether religious or political, you deep down realize that you’re not even the slightest bit interested in changing minds. You just want to dominate. You want them to know you know a lot, are able to respond back with devastating accuracy, and to never forget that, in case they wanted to challenge you again. It’s more about promoting and protecting yourself than it is about truth and others as they relate to the truth.

So, how did that light bulb FINALLY come on in me? It was very recent. Social media is such a huge part of everyone’s daily lives (which is nuts). Whatever opinions you would ‘share’ prior to social media, social media becomes your big stick to beat a trash can lid…your megaphone to yell your narrative as loudly as you can. And social media groups tend to coagulate around people who want to yell the same (or similar) narratives. Those that are the most vociferous at it become the most liked and eventually leaders of these groups. Strange human behavior, regardless of the content of the narrative celebrated. For me, I began to realize that much of the news (which immediately becomes social media topics) began to reveal to me a disconnect between the conservative political narrative and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It wasn’t so much that the original content of conservative thought was wrong. But hearts of those who embraced it, sought refuge in it and pronounced it loudly were very different from what I was reading in Scripture. There were noticeable deviations. I began to notice the narrative is different from the truth. In some cases, I had to make a decision between the particular aspects of the particular narrative and the Gospel. The Gospel had to win. That’s where my loyalty has to remain.

In my own life, I realized the tension I had always felt but refused to explore was simple. I was (and still am) a hypocrite. The principles I would promote hardly were found in my own life. The most important things were about stuff I had no control over. How weird it is. Immigration is a great example. How could I find secure borders and concern over undocumented people coming into the country be that big of a concern in my life? I don’t work for INS, the State Department, DoD to have those sorts of decisions to make. I’m a telecommunications consultant, for Pete’s sake. I never really interface with people who even might be considered an undocumented immigrant. And if I do, I never consider calling ICE to get their butts deported. I usually treat them like I do other citizens. The most important thing is the fact when I study the New Testament, I am clearly at odds with Jesus and the entire teaching of the Kingdom of God, when it comes to the position on immigration, even if they meant my harm. So, why in the world would such a topic be something I would wear everyday like a loud shirt? It’s not about truth. It’s all about me. I’m a hypocrite. Truth isn’t really my interest, even if the content of what I may say is true or not. I want to be considered noble, notable and belong to a group bigger than me where I can hide, seek safety and eventually be more noticed.

I’m Simon the Sorcerer.

So, I repent of it here and whenever I can.

But, clearly, I am not alone. Both liberal and conservative narratives have become guns for each side to use to blow the other away. We may not literally want to blow someone away. But if they ended up with terminal cancer or were in a fatal accident, we’d secretly feel somewhat satisfied. It’s not about truth anymore. It’s about power and control. It’s Satanic, even if practiced by a Christian. That’s why I so despise postmodernism. And postmodernism is pervasive, even among conservatives, whether they realize it or not. Postmodernism’s not only philosophically indefensible. It’s also astoundingly hypocritical and horribly legalistic, all the while promoting authentic living and unwavering grace. The more it tries to be authentic and grace-filled, the less ends up being that at all. I get it when people outside the church are absorbed with postmodernism. They don’t have anything else better suited for self-interest than postmodernism. But, for some reason, within the church, it’s like watching someone slowly try to take advantage of a helpless child, passive aggressively, rather than overtly. Then again, you’re reading me start to drift back into another convenient narrative.

I repent again.

This isn’t about political correctness or political rightness. It’s to show that the narratives we hold are not about seeking truth, wherever it is and no matter the cost. The narratives are exploited by us to serve our interests, regardless of their veracity. We may end up being right in the position we hold while being hopelessly wrong in the disposition in which we hold it. The narrative isn’t the truth. The narrative is a human convention. When it happens to be true, truth is more of an exploit. But truth is still truth, regardless. Truth doesn’t require narratives. You realize that by its very nature. Truth is what you run into when you’re wrong. Reality doesn’t bend to our interest. We should bend to it. Narratives help us to conveniently avoid doing that. Simon the Sorcerer is alive and well. Not only am I guilty of trying to exploit truth to promote myself, I am in incredible company.

When I abandon that horrible self-deceptive motive and seek truth, the more we can see how Christ’s Kingdom isn’t a member of any political movement or a clever narrative. The sooner I can realize and repent of this divisive and violent motivation in my own heart. This isn’t about winning or losing. But it is about rescue. The problem is, most of the people we are sent to rescue don’t feel any need in being rescued. And it will be risky. It always has been. We may find ourselves marginalized from those circles of narrative worshipers, on all sides.

To someone who hasn’t placed confidence in Christ, it looks downright foolish. Being a fool for Christ is far better than being a victor for conservative or liberal narratives. The sooner we realize… hell, the sooner I realize this, the better off I will be. I guess I realize this truth enough to also realize when I am a fool for Jesus, there isn’t anything left to really protect. And what an incredible relief that is. In fact, it can make me extremely dangerous, far more than joining Freedom Watch or Common Cause. That’s because all political power isn’t going to last. They all rise and fall. Only the Kingdom lasts.

 

 

 

 

About the Kingdom: The Bigger Picture & How Peace With God Changes Everything

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. ⁸ Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. – Romans 8:1-8

Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” – John 6:29

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. – John 17:3

If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. – John 7:17

Two true statements: 1) I’ve never met a Christian who didn’t want to be a better person. 2) The only people who ever get any better are those who know that if they never get any better, it will be okay.

I’d add a third true statement to the list above: 3) Those who believe the second statement actually do get better, because they have eternal life from the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom He sent.

Okay, maybe just three more statements come to mind: 4) Those who get better probably won’t be able to tell and, 4a) if they could, they probably would be unbearable to be around, 4b) making their objective to become better a bit bogged down by getting in the way of themselves.

There’s an old adage that you can’t dance well if you keep looking at your feet. Aristotle said something similar about happiness: so long as you are trying to attain happiness, it will always remain elusive.

Enough name dropping and over simplified platitudes.

I haven’t read all the books or papers surrounding the controversy, but I have been sort of aware of the polemics between N.T. Wright and John Piper, surrounding N.T. Wright’s theology, particularly related to his interpretation of justification and the Gospel's big picture. Wright believes the big picture of redemption is necessarily tied into the story of creation: God created people to be His image bearers to fill the earth and extend Eden throughout it. People fell into sin and were floundering in their own projects and diversions. Christ died on the cross to bring the lost nations, particularly those who accept Christ, back into alignment with the Kingdom to become those image bearers again and to finish the job God had in mind at creation. Piper,on the other hand, believes the traditional Westminster catechetical vision of it all being about being in sin, believing in Christ’s work accimplishing forgiveness of sins and getting into heaven when we die. He further contends that Wright's bigger picture dangerously detracts from that important fact.

I can’t understand how these guys can say those two narratives are at odds with each other. Actually, only Piper does. Wright doesn’t. So, that’s the real argument. Should these two narratives be at odds with one another? Wright holds to a restored Kingdom/image bearer big picture. Piper holds to the forgiveness of sins and heaven when you die big picture. It's sort of like one guy arguing that pie is for desert while the other argues that pie is better with graham cracker crust. Hard to make sense out of the friction. Piper holds Wright's views are at odds with scripture or dangerously diminishes the importance of Christ's work on the cross. He really shouldn't hold that position, if that comes close to Piper’s view. To me, these guys are in violent agreement.

However, the argument does raise a real concern that does happen. We can tend to over-emphasize one at the expense of the other, making the Gospel Jesus preached difficult to reconcile. That's not what I glean from Wright, based on what I've read from him, despite Piper's charge. The Gospel is to hold both of these views. Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins. And He did that to bring those in the other nations outside Israel back into alignment with God's initial Kingdom plan to reign and rule with His people. Those who focus more on the image bearer view of the big picture at the expense of the finished work of Christ on the cross tend to focus more about righting wrongs, eliminating injustices, without much observance of personal culpability and need for forgiveness. Forgiveness of sins is essential and overlooking this aspect is to cut yourself off at the knees. On the other hand, those who focus only on the atonement will do so at the expense of joining Christ now in transforming ourselves and the world around us. It would be to focus only on forgiveness of sins at the expense of righting wrongs and championing the cause of the outcast. Christ is at work in this world through His church. De-emphasizing this is to become ineffective. The Christian life is salvation, forgiveness of sins and heaven when you die. Everything in between remains relatively untouched.

Then you have the more ‘enlightened’ Christians with feet in several camps at once. Most seem to be those who have been raised in a common sort of background; never permitted to watch Monty Python movies or say ‘damn’ and have broken free of that legalistic past in order to read and write volumes of material that become more and more esoteric until you finally give up trying to understand it. They’ve rode the megachurch wave, emergent wave and post-evangelical wave. They are driven more by past abuses (and personal grievances) in the church as a motivation to reinvent the wheel, using any prolific word for the round thing in question, other than ‘wheel’. Maybe trundle facilitator or Go Catalyst, if they’re more into the brevity thing. These guys see both narratives as important (forgiveness of sins and Kingdom now) but simply hold them in tension and hope the tension works itself out. In fact, the tension can even be celebrated.

The tension isn’t between these views. The tension is solely in us. The only tension in the Christian life is living in the Kingdom that is available now, but not yet consummated. The answers Jesus gives (as does Paul) are really easy. They’ve been over thought. We are sinners saved by the shed blood of Jesus so we are reconciled to God. But we are also given new life that can be experienced here, culminating with heaven when we die. This new life is the easy yoke Jesus refers to in Matthew 11:28-30. And it's best described as training to reign with Christ and all that entails. Romans 12:1-2 is a basic requirement for wanting to be a better person and to make the world a better place. Actually cooperating with God, which requires we entrust Him with our biggest mess, means we heal and become more of an influence, or at least more influential . And we probably won’t be all that deliberate about being this sort of influence. We’ll be too busy practicing Christ’s presence in us and pointing others to Him. As such, we won't very cognizant of where we stand and the impact we are making. Were we to stop and focus more on our progress, fall back on ego and insecurity by comparison. As Christ made clear, we can choose to live life with only our resources. But we won’t really get very far. Living with His resources is what gets us through when we don’t know how we can. As that pertains to righteousness, it’s not that we don’t develop more and more of the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, but that we can’t attain it by focusing on it any more than we can attain happiness by pursuing happiness. Happiness happens when we live the good life. Righteousness happens when we practice the presence of Christ…always knowing He’s with us and what that means for living daily life. And, according to Jesus, the good life and the life He offers are one of the same.

This brings me to the concept of condemnation. Despite the concerns many conservative Christians may have, for those who believe in the Son, whom God sent, there is no longer any wrath with God. None. But will that encourage people to live like the devil? The only other motivation would be fear of rejection or abandonment. This appeals to our old life rather than life offered in Christ. No ones truly becomes more righteous because if they don't, God will stomp them into a greasy spot. People get better because Christ secures peace with God, making the journey of set discovery and the transformation resulting from it a safe proposition. What will encourage people to live like the devil is to be motivated by potential condemnation because that minimizes the shed blood of Christ and what that shed blood accomplishes. There is no motivation for becoming more like Christ than no more condemnation. Your only other choices are to reject the law in its entirety as something unattainable or to fake righteousness. You end up with antinomianism or legalism. Outside of real and secure peace with God can we take the risk of actually becoming the sort of people Christ describes and reflects in His Kingdom. Otherwise, it’s just too scary and Let me give an example.

Let’s say I have a tendency to spin yarns, fib and embellish to make myself look better. Sounds small compared to neglecting the poor by sucking up to the rich and powerful. However, according to Christ, these things come from the same motivation and disposition. And it spills forth from the reality of my inner life. Jesus said out of the heart, the mouth speaks. If I don’t deal with my inner life that creates the outer behavior (pattern of lying), the outer behavior will always be in control of me.That’s because it’s fed from a fear and the fear is attached to a belief. But I don’t have the power to change my inner life, were I honest. At least I can't pursue that on my own. And I can't pursue it outside of a relationship that I can pursue at my most inner self. That is what Christ offers and only He offers it. I can modify my behavior. I can make it look like I no longer struggle with this sin. At least I can so long as the pressure of life isn’t more than my ability to control myself. With failure, repentance and more failure, I fall into a vicious cycle and hat may eventually burn me out or make me a cynic. I may simply accept I am hopeless and useless. After all, acceptance of God is contingent upon my obedience, if I interpret scripture this way. And obedience remains elusively out of reach, even if I pretend it isn’t. I internally accept that I’m the rare case of the unfixable, pretend I am maturing for the sake of maintaining my reputation among other believers, and pray to God no one ever finds out. 

But if I believe I am never condemned because of Jesus, then it becomes a perfectly safe environment to ask the Lord to give me truth about myself. After all, isn’t all sin a result of some place in my life I haven’t surrendered to Jesus? No matter how sensitive or painful the memories or the acceptance of the truth of these things threatens me, greater is He who is in me than even these fears that have controlled me all these years. I pray for Him to show me truth. I eventually replace the lies that led to the sin with His truth. The source behind the behavior has lost its power. But the behavior takes some time to overcome. After all, I’ve had a lifetime of mental, emotional and bodily habits formed from the lies I accepted as truth. And it’s okay if I die before I can entirely get rid of the old habits. I am His and He will never forsake me or leave me. It’s no longer about the outcome. He's in control of the outcome. It’s about enjoying Him and the outcome is whatever the outcome turns out to be. My salvation is the only outcome I can be assured. I can abandon the rest of it to Him because I have no reason to take it back again. He has this and He is leading me in places that were I not free of condemnation, I’d never venture. He’s my safe place. He’s my motivation. He’s my power to change, whether I completely stop the pattern or not.

What this does is give me a life that not only transforms me but the same life is transformative to my surroundings. Wright is correct about the big picture. And it's to Piper's expense if he can't put down the weapons to see where Wrights coming from. He has created, redeemed and transformed people to rule and reign with Him as Kingdom apprentices. It's about the cross. But it's actually about far more than that. I want to change the world. But I can’t do it in my own resources. Plus, although I think I am better than I was 20 years ago, I still consider myself a screw-up. Notwithstanding, because of Him, I can be a catalyst for my soul, church and community. That’s the Gospel. And that’s the life He gives me. Do you want to change the world? Accept Christ now and begin cooperating with Him on living daily life. That requires changing your mind about everything: how you think about other people, the world, even God. And adjust accordingly. That’s what the bible calls repentance. You changing is the catalyst that can truly change your surroundings, without you being deliberate about it. It’s a natural outcome.

Do you want to know if there’s more to Christianity than heaven when you die? Great. Read your bible, particularly the Gospel Jesus preached. Keep that in mind when you think about the entire bible, from Genesis 1:26 through Revelations. You are reconciled to the family of God in order to rule and reign with God. And that doesn’t have to wait until the millennial reign, if that’s your dispensational flavor. That starts now. He has given you resources you need to change yourself and by doing so, experience the Kingdom of God now as Jesus’ apprentice. The natural culmination is to rule over angels. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. In a nutshell, here's the big picture. God created humans to be His image bearers on earth...to go forth and fill the earth with the Edenic realities in which we started. But because of free will, we fell into sin. None of this caught God off guard. As we multiplied throughout the earth God handed all the nations over to the wicked rulers and authorities comprising the Divine Counsel He condemns in Psalm 82. He starts over by calling Abraham and Israel as His own and only nation, among the nations. He demonstrated the power of His reign and sovereignty over all nations by defeating Egypt and freeing His people to live in their own land. This way, the world, visible and invisible knows the one true God is over all. Through Israel, God gives His Son to inaugurate the Kingdom...make it available to men and women through His work on the cross. Doing so, He commands us to make disciples among these nations that were under other management. Paul's missionary journeys match the table of nations in Genesis 11, to a remarkable degree. When reading the letters he wrote under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, you can see that Paul shares this big picture. One day, all will be under Christ’s feet and His Kingdom will reign forever...and it's already starting now. And we get to be a part of it. Now, forgiveness of sins is awesome, but with this big picture, all the sudden a really exciting life can emerge as possible in between placing faith in Christ and our physical death. How can that be dangerous or detracting?

About the Kingdom: Loved Into Realness

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” – Matthew 5:44-48

Then it happened that as Jesus was reclining at the table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, "Why is your Teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?" But when Jesus heard this, He said, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.” – Matthew 9:10-12

But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them." – Luke 15:2

I’m about as far right, politically and culturally, as you can get. I think Rush Limbaugh is a bit tepid. And that goes for all the topics: abortion, gay marriage, and prayer in school…the list goes on. But I don’t live in a conservative nation. I’m not sure I ever did. The rhetoric may have seemed like it was. But if I look back and critically think about it, I don’t think we ever were truly that conservative. And being on social media makes this all too real. I can’t tell you how downright disturbed and upset I can get reading posts about all the values I hold dear being rejected and even demonized by friends and family. But I love them. And that’s the point missed.

I love them so much that it hurts me to see them hold to something that I think isn’t good for them. I’m not trying to win an argument. I just want what’s best for them. And being a conservative follower of Jesus, it hurts me when they go off into areas that I think will simply disappoint them. But I have been disappointed too. I followed what I thought would deliver the ultimate and it has let me down. Specifically, it was the culture war mentality. Fight the good fight. Does anybody know where that phrase even came from and what he was talking about when he stated it? That's another issue. But what has the culture war got us? Angry people, ready for violence, on all sides. Whether you are liberal or conservative, the culture wars haven’t done anything but made us hate, despise and hold each other in contempt. One side may have won the battle, but by holding those who are supposed to be close in contempt, they've lost the war, and probably refuse to come to grips with it yet. And for those who lost the battle, losing the battle is far less acceptable than losing the friend or family member. In fact, the friend or family member is sacrificed to appease the ego gods after losing ground and prior to the wound-licking. To be honest, regardless of where you on these issues, if you think you are satisfied that same sex people have the right to be included in the legal definition of marriage, but it was at the cost of friends and family, you lost. And if you are steamed that gay marriage is now equally protected under the 14^th amendment, so much that it has come at the expense of friends and family, you lost more than the issue.

The Kingdom of God runs diametrically different than how our circles operate these days. The Kingdom isn’t about verbally beating someone over the head into submission or making an example out of them. Jesus ate with whores, Mafioso and drunkards. In fact, it earned him a poor reputation among the religious circles. What nobody understood is that Jesus wasn’t trying to give moral support to working girls or extortionists. He wasn’t using them to promote a pro-working girl or pro-thug view of culture. He didn’t agree with what they did. But he ate with them. Nor did he use them to make a statement. He was loving people…particularly people no one else loved.  You see, people were changed when they encountered Jesus. They changed because he loved them, not because he effectively argued against them with devastating accuracy. He ate with them. He talked with them. And when people are loved, they put their weapons down and love back. And when you love back, get ready to face the fact you will more than likely change. You may be sure you are right being for or against something, but when you experience the Kingdom, like they did with Jesus, don’t be surprised if those things aren’t as important as you thought they were. You may even change your mind about them. The old saying goes, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion, still." That's true. But Jesus shows us that real love is the catalyst for change, far more than a great argument.

That’s what love can do. It does that because when people are loved for themselves, rather than what they can do for you, it’s safer. And when it’s safer, you can be yourself. And you may not have been yourself since you were a child. The Kingdom of Heaven is for the childlike, by the way. And it isn’t a matter of eating and drinking. It’s a matter of righteousness, peace and joy in God’s continual presence. Righteousness, for the record, isn’t necessarily being on the right side of an argument or social issue. It’s to love others as Jesus loves us. You have supper with them, listen to them, and help them...even disagree with them when it calls for it, without being disagreeable. And when you love them genuinely for who they are, rather than what they believe or do, you end up earning their respect and their attention. But, I would be remiss if I didn’t also add that doing all the aforementioned things to get them to change their minds isn’t loving them either. It’s manipulating them. They become a means to an end. Manipulation isn’t righteousness. God has given us free will and anything we do to short circuit someone’s God given ability to reason things out for themselves is sin and not Kingdom, even (and especially) if it’s for Christian causes. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Anything beyond that is evil.

Don't let conflicting beliefs come between you being a genuine friend. Being a friend is far more transformative than a great argument. But, you may plead that it’s so hard to love someone who believes something like abortion being a protected choice. True. Some Christians may say you are an accessory to murder if you befriend them in any other way other than to change their minds about abortion. That's an entirely different topic and one that I think should be written on, but it's not the point of this topic. The point is that it may be beyond your ability to conjure up that sort of hospitality. That’s why you need Jesus. It’s not about what you are capable of doing yourself but what you are capable of doing with Him. He already loves them. And he loves you. Because he loves you, you can love them, even if it entails hurt, disappointment and even ridicule. He makes it possible and even gives us the desire for this when we can’t imagine doing it as we run through all the scenarios of how it could play out in our head. They may be our enemy. It may seem crazy to invite them over to your house, when they clearly despise you. Invite them. If you love only your friends and family, what more are you doing than even the whores and the extortionists? The issues are important. But they aren’t the point. People and their lives are the point. The rest follows.

That doesn’t mean you have to give up your value system either. It just means you value system has others at the top, above the issues. Too many times I see Christians even pretend to be on the side of socially liberal issues, for the sake of trying to win over liberal friends. That, too, is horrible manipulation. It’s worse because it involves you trying to lie to yourself in order that you can more effectively lie to others. The Kingdom of God isn’t about deception or manipulation. It’s understood that people already have preconceived ideas of who you are because of your affiliation with Jesus. But trying to deceive them so you can make inroads isn’t going to get you anywhere but bitterness. You just shift it away from them onto those who actually agree with you, since you loving them becomes a stumbling block to winning over those you don’t agree with. It’s insane. It’s schizophrenic. There are right and wrong sides to these issues. Morality is objective, universal and absolute. But all of these are held, exercised, defended, rejected and promoted by human beings who are image bearers of the God who created them. They are the ones God sent Jesus to redeem. So were you, at one time.

This isn’t another wimpy Christian call to no longer have serious convictions about social issues or sin.  And it's not to call for Christians to call evil good and good evil either. We'd be surprised how much evil we actually call good, were we so inclined to be honest about ourselves. Asking you to invite a gay friend or family member over isn’t asking you to accept same sex marriage. But it’s certainly not a suggested way to manipulate them over so you can deprogram them. It’s simply asking people to study how Jesus actually lived, taught and ministered. It's finding out what Jesus would actually do about people on the other side of the culture war, were Jesus you. You’ll be surprised. And when God’s Spirit convicts you of hating people you disagree with, rejoice in the fact that it was nailed to the cross with Jesus. It’s forgiven. The next step is even more important. When Jesus asks you to invite a gay liberal over to have dinner and watch a flick, you can relax about changing their mind about being a gay liberal. You don’t know all the intricate details behind all the convictions you have, let alone them. One thing you can trust is that Jesus can give you what you need to live and to love others, including those you disagree. The Kingdom of God is about the righteousness of being enabled to love those who even hate you, because you are perfectly safe in the Kingdom of God. Because you are loved, you can love. And you can also love to the extent you are loved. That doesn’t mean being wishy-washy. But it also doesn’t mean verbal assault or serious manipulation either. Love as you are loved. And you are loved big. The very Kingdom in which you breathe in gives you everything you need to not just function, but to be a game changer without being all concerned about changing the game.

“But the world will go to hell in a hand-basket.” Really? How well has the culture war worked for us? What if I were to say the angry-culture war strategy, regardless of being on the right side, is one of the flesh, rather than the Spirit? Seriously look into how Jesus changed the Greco-Roman world within 300 years and think again. There has never been anyone in history more influential on culture than Jesus Christ, a hick from a despised town in a despised region. That one Man has changed the world. And He did that by showing us the Kingdom, making it available to everyone and all that Kingdom entails. The 300 years after the crucifixion wasn’t a sterling history, without a smudge. But, if you are honest, you will have to admit it as far more than just remarkable, but transformative. And this was accomplished by real love.